Subject: Sex (Page 8)

She’s cleared her schedule from 7:00 ‘til 7:30 – that means foreplay and cuddling.

(1959 – ) American actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Sex is like art; most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

writer, website creator
Art Money Sex

Sex and politics are a lot alike; you don’t have to be good at them to enjoy them.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Government Politics Sex

Nothing risqué nothing gained!

(1933 – 1967) American actress, entertainer & Hollywood sex symbol
Communication Sex Wordplay

I’m so frightened of disease that it’s to the point I won’t have sex with someone… unless they say… you know… “Okay.”

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Health Sex

Don't cook… don’t clean; no man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Housework Sex

Marriage is like a row boat: it fits two, it doesn’t work on auto-pilot and it’s very difficult to have sex in.

(1964 – ) American comedian
Marriage Sex

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me; just the other night she called me from a hotel.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Sex Speech

Education with socialists: it’s like sex, all right so long as you don’t have to pay for it

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Education Sex

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Clothing Sex Wives

Jesus and the “G” Spot

Book Titles Sex

They say the best exercise takes place in the bedroom; I believe it, because that's where I get the most resistance.

comedian
Activities Exercise Sex

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Sex Situations

It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.

Children Money Proverbs Sex

The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets.

American playwright, television writer & author
Men People Sex Situations

I didn’t lose my virginity until I was twenty-six… nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls “the real way.”

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Sex

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

Insults Sex

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime.


Computers Sex Things

My girlfriend likes to play doctor; so I always make her wait 90 minutes before I see her.

(1952 – ) American comedian & actor
Occupations Sex

Sex with me when I'm really drunk is like being at the dentist… you can tell something's going on but you don't exactly know what it is.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex

I rely on my personality for birth control.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Characteristics Sex