Subject: Sex (Page 9)

Hannah: Excessive masturbation?

Mickey: You gonna start knockin’ my hobbies?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Every animal is sad after (sex) except the human female and the rooster.

(AD 129 – 199) Roman physician & philosopher
Emotions Sex

I have a girlfriend… I’ve been going out with my girlfriend for …….. sex!

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends Relationships Sex

You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Conflict Entertainment Sex Television

Like most comics, I just broke up with my girlfriend… the reason we broke up is because I caught her lying – under another man.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Girlfriends Language Relationships Sex

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, “Back up, I don't know how big this gets.”

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Sex Situations

The kiss is a wordless articulation of desire whose object lies in the future, and somewhat to the south.

(1939 – ) professor of journalism & author
Sex

Sex is a two-way treat.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Sex

I would like to be able to watch the evening news with my family and not have to explain what oral sex means to my wife.

American comedian & writer
Entertainment Sex Television

Jesus and the “G” Spot

Book Titles Sex

Nothing risqué nothing gained!

(1933 – 1967) American actress, entertainer & Hollywood sex symbol
Communication Sex Wordplay

Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved, so the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Men People Sex Women

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Books Friends People Sex Sleep

Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Definitions Sex

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

(1946 – ) filmmaker, actor & writer
Religion Sex

Any idiot can get laid when they’re famous… that’s easy… it’s getting laid when you’re not famous that takes some talent.

(1958 – ) American film & theater actor
Sex Success

61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
People Sex

I was the best I ever had.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Self Sex

Stand-Up [comedy] is a lot like sex; there's a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Entertainment Money Sex

I’m all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Sex