Subject: Signs (Page 44)

NOTICE – While You Are Reading This There is a Man in One of the Windows High Above You Who is Taking Your Photograph. He Will Then Make a Wee Model of You and Put it With Other Wee Models of Other People, Then He Plays Weird Games With Them.

No Appointment Necessary – We'll Hear You Coming

Do not wear for sumo wrestling.

Thanks for flushing our business down the drain!

It’s a Crewel World

Door Alarmed – Window Frightened

World Famous – Out House Fudge – It’s Yummy!

From Here To Maternity

After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

Please keep loud, wild babes out of the sanctuary.

SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN – EVERYONE WELCOME

This Is The Gate of Heaven – Enter Ye All by This Door. (This Door is Kept Locked Because of the Draft. Please Use Side Door.)

Bead It

EMERGENCY TELEPHONE – Dial 999 for Coastguard, Police, Fire or Ambulance

Caution – Stoolbus

Fireproof forest region – Inflammable

Bickers & Bickers

Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives

I Thought Neil Young Was Supposed to Be Playing

Big Wong

This Wall May Be Dangerous – Park at Your Own Risk