Subject: Signs (Page 51)

New Fecal Matter Cakes

Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives

Saturday: 12 noon to 12pm.

Thermostadt

Not to be used as a personal flotation device.

Warning: Trespassers Will Be Shot – No Questions Ask; No Warning Given

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Body & Sole

Traditional Chinese food, expertly repaired

Please Pardon Our Tulip Show – The Deer Have Eaten the Display

Family Jewels

You Best Vet

Feats of Clay

Not for children. Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

Private – Customer Parking Only – All Others Will Be Toad

Sofa King – “Our prices are Sofa King Low”

Closed Due To Illness

This Light Never Turns Green

Kills all kinds of insects… Warning: this product is harmful to bees.

One of Us, or Perhaps Both of Us, May Be Correct

Teach our Children Reading, Writing, Arithetic Not Gambling [sic]