Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Signs
(Page 74)
Low-Emitting/ Fuel Efficient Vehicles Only
Sign
Signs
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
Instructions
Signs
Do Not Rattle Playfully at the Shutter Button
Label
Signs
In the instruction manual for a Canon camera
The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position.
Instructions
Signs
Instructions for an espresso kettle
Idaho Pot / 10 Lb. Bag / $1.49
Sign
Signs
In an IGA market
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe
Label
Signs
On earplugs
Direction #1: Remove plastic.
Label
Signs
Microwave popcorn packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless opened and unfolded
Warning: Trespassers Will Be Shot – No Questions Ask; No Warning Given
Sign
Signs
Read the Bible: It’s User Friendly Plus We Offer Tech Support Here on Sundays
Church sign
Signs
Outside a church
7 Days Without Pizza Makes One Weak
Sign
Signs
At a pizza shop
Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!
Church sign
Signs
Outside a church
Do Me a Flavor
Business Name
Signs
Various ice cream shops in New Jersey
Music Score: Beethoven 7, Bach 3
Sign
Signs
On an orchestra leader’s office door
PIANO PLAYER WANTED – MUST HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF OPENING CLAMS
Sign
Signs
I Hate This Church – Satan
Church sign
Signs
Outside a church
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
Sign
Signs
At a farmer's field
Crap – .79/lb.
Sign
Signs
In an Asian seafood store in Madison Wisconsin
Thanks for flushing our business down the drain!
Sign
Signs
On a septic tank truck
Warning: Do not use on eyes.
Label
Signs
On a heated seat cushion
Yelling Dental Clinic
Sign
Signs
Pizza The Action
Sign
Signs
Name of a pizza parlor
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