Subject: Signs (Page 82)

Forbidden Fruits Create Many Jams

WARNING – PIT BULL WITH AIDS – NO TRESPASSING

BURGER KING – NOW HIRING LOSERS

You will attend a party where strange customs prevail.

FOUND – Gay dog – was crossing Dundas St. on Saturday, July 14th… won’t stop humping my dog! Please come get ‘em. Call 778-….

No baby carriages or foreign cars allowed in the lobby

Gate is to remain open and unlocked during school hours.
Keep Gate Closed at All Times

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes.

Classic Pooh Spreaders – Spread the charm of Pooh just about anywhere with these beautifully crafted stainless steel spreading knives…

To avoid delay, please have all your symptoms ready.

Do not put lit candles on phone.

Patriotic Resisance [sic]

For lifting purposes only.

Disaster Masters Inc

Septic Tank Service – We Haul Milk On the Weekends

The world may be your oyster, but it doesn’t mean you’ll get its pearl. 

For Indoor or Outdoor Use Only

Hung Phat Restaurant

How You Brewin?

WARNING Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose name, and/or species you can’t remember).