Subject: Situations (Page 21)

Ray Wilkins' day will come one night.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Situations

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Animals Situations

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Housework Situations World

Cleaning anything involves making something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something else getting clean.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics Situations

If I saw you hitchhiking, I’d smile and return your thumb’s up, just for you doing such a great job of being a positive roadside influence.

(1982 – ) American author
Activities Situations

It is impossible to distinguish, from a distance, whether the bureaucrats associated with your project are simply sitting on their hands, or frantically trying to cover their asses.

Murphy’s Laws Situations

When you get to the end of your rope tie a knot and hang on.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Problems Situations

I picked up a hitchhiker… you've got to when you hit them.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Situations

The world makes you into a bitch, no matter how quietly you go, so you may as well go kicking and screaming.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Characteristics Situations

They say winning isn’t everything, and I’ve decided to take their word for it.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Situations

Caught a guy at the store comparing apples and oranges.

comedian & actor
Situations

There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Situations

One night a jet flew a little too close to my house… I was walking from the living room to the kitchen and the stewardess told me to sit down.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations

If I ever saw bat shit, I’d be like, ‘that’s crazy.’

(1973 – ) American comedian
Intelligence Situations

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

American comedian
Situations

Elvis transcends his talent to the point of dispensing with it altogether.

(1945 – ) author, music journalist & cultural critic
People Situations Success

The sun always rises in the baby's bedroom window.

Children Murphy’s Laws Situations

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Situations

Only have a nervous breakdown if you’ve got loads of money, and then you can really enjoy it.

(1955 – ) English composer, singer, songwriter & producer
Health Money Situations

Up the creek in a boat with a hole.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Situations

Nothing is so annoying than to be obscurely hanged.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Situations