Subject: Situations (Page 3)

I agree with everything you say, but I would attack to the death your right to say it.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Communication Situations Speech

More dirt comes out of a hole than you can get back into it.

Murphy’s Laws Situations

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this – man's being unable to sit still in a room.

(1623 – 1662) French mathematician & physicist
Beliefs Situations

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Situations

But, as my mother used to tell me, two wrongs don't make a right… but I soon figured out that three left turns do.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Driving Situations

Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank Him for not having given it wings.

Proverbs Situations

Family reunions is that time when you come face to face with your family tree, and you realize some branches need to be cut.

American comedian
Relationships Situations

Why don't you come up and have a little… scotch and sofa.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Dating Relationships Situations

Last Christmas I got no respect. In my stocking I got an odor eater.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Situations

Either I’ve been missing something or nothing has been going on.

American author
Situations

Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Situations Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

I'll try anything once… twice if I like it… three times to make sure.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Situations

I was wondering why a Frisbee appears larger, the closer it gets… and then it hit me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Situations Things

The quarterback’s spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Football Situations Sports

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Situations Things

I’m not the type who wants to go back to the land… I’m the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
People Self Situations

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

(1961 – ) English comedian, actor, director, producer & writer
Problems Situations TV/Movie Quotes

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Characteristics Fear Marriage Situations

Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

Murphy’s Laws Situations

You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.

Dating Relationships Situations

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Beliefs Girls Situations