Subject: Situations (Page 3)

I agree with everything you say, but I would attack to the death your right to say it.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter

More dirt comes out of a hole than you can get back into it.

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this – man's being unable to sit still in a room.

(1623 – 1662) French mathematician & physicist

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

But, as my mother used to tell me, two wrongs don't make a right… but I soon figured out that three left turns do.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank Him for not having given it wings.

Family reunions is that time when you come face to face with your family tree, and you realize some branches need to be cut.

American comedian

Why don't you come up and have a little… scotch and sofa.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Last Christmas I got no respect. In my stocking I got an odor eater.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Either I’ve been missing something or nothing has been going on.

American author

Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I'll try anything once… twice if I like it… three times to make sure.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

I was wondering why a Frisbee appears larger, the closer it gets… and then it hit me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

The quarterback’s spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I’m not the type who wants to go back to the land… I’m the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

(1961 – ) English comedian, actor, director, producer & writer

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician

Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)