Subject: Situations (Page 52)

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Science/Weather Situations

If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Dating Relationships Situations

I was only saying to the Queen the other day how I hate name-dropping.

(1911 – 2000) American actor
Situations

I can look at a car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Autos Situations Things

You've got to think lucky; if you fall into a mud hole, check your back pocket – you might have caught a fish.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Situations Sports

Never position a rock near a hard place.

(1962 – ) English writer
Communication Situations Wordplay

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Situations

A hotel isn’t like a home, but it’s better than being a house guest.

(1908 – 1976) publisher & author
Places Situations

If you volunteer to do a task that nobody likes to do, you'll be expected to do it every time in the future.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Work

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.


Characteristics Situations

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Situations

Sometimes people have had terrible childhoods… and sometimes they just haven’t found their special place in life… and sometimes they’re dogs from hell and must be destroyed.

(1912 – 1988) American cartoonist (The Addams Family)
People Situations

I daydreamed that I was falling and, just before I hit the ground, I fell asleep.

comedian
Situations Sleep

I used to be a proofreader for a sky writing company.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations

Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole-in-one.

Golf Situations Sports

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Food/Drink Situations Sleep

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Science/Weather Situations

I like to hold hands at the movies… which always seems to startle strangers.

(1967 – ) is an American comedian & actor
Entertainment Situations

An inability to stay quiet is one of the most conspicuous failings of mankind.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist
Characteristics Situations

In a fight between you and the world, back the world.

(1883 – 1924) Czech writer
Conflict Situations

The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.

Life Murphy’s Laws Situations