Subject: Situations (Page 8)

Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.

American free-lance writer
People Situations

So drug dealers don’t find it funny when you ask for a receipt?

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs Situations

If it looks easy, it's tough… if it looks tough, it's near impossible.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Situations

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Situations

We seem to have unleased a hornet's nest.

Malaprops Situations

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Situations

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Situations Time

Giving away baby clothes and nursery furniture is a major cause of pregnancy.

novelist & travel writer
Children Family Situations

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? … It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Relationships Situations

Living with a saint is more grueling than being one.

(died 1457) English Bishop of Salisbury
People Situations

The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Husbands Marriage Situations Sleep Wives

Twice: Once too often.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Situations

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Family Situations

People have discovered that they can fool the devil; but they can't fool the neighbors.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
People Situations

Automation has opened up a whole new field of unemployment.

Situations Work

A mobile home with a flat tire is a home.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Situations Things

The saying “Getting there is half the fun” became obsolete with the advent of commercial airlines.


Activities Situations Travel

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

American comedian
Situations

Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember, it didn’t work for the rabbit.

American humorist
Situations

Christine Todd Whitman had to resign as the head of the EPA; you know, when the governor of New Jersey decides the environment is hopeless, you gotta really think that one through.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Places Situations

In order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.

Characteristics Men People Situations