Subject: Sports » Baseball (Page 17)

Most ball games are lost, not won.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

My problem is I lose too many one-run games – 10-9, 8-7.

American baseball pitcher

He (Gaylord Perry) should be in the Hall of Fame with a tube of KY jelly attached to his plaque.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager

Baseball owners have moral scruples against taking any man’s dollar when there is a chance to take a dollar and a quarter.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

Yes, and so is everyone else in the league.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

We’re trying to accomplish in five games what in previous years it took 162 games to do.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

One thing you learned as a Cubs fan: when you bought your ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host

There is someone warming up in the Giants’ bullpen, but he’s obscured by his number.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

We know we’re better than this, but we can’t prove it.

American baseball player

All last year we tried to teach him (Fernando Valenzuela) English, and the only word he learned was million.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game, it’s that they stay out all night looking for it.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

If you don't have outstanding relief pitching, you might as well piss on the fire and call the dogs.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager

When we played, World Series checks meant something; now all they do is screw up your taxes.

American baseball pitcher & announcer

I've got a tip on the market for you fellows, buy Pennsylvania Railroad – because by tomorrow night about a dozen of you bums will be riding on it.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

We have deep depth.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

I’m throwing twice as hard, but the ball is getting there half as fast.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

When Lew was a twenty game winner for the Milwaukee Braves, people needed three columns for his pitching record: won, lost and relative humidity.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

Last night's homer was Willie Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

The first guy who lays a finger on this blind old man is fined fifty bucks!

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager

Problem with [John] Wockenfuss getting on base is that it takes three doubles to score him.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager