Subject: Sports » Baseball (Page 18)

The Yankees don’t pay me to win every day, just two out of three.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

If you start worrying about the people in the stands, before too long you're up in the stands with them.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

He can make the ball look so small that you're not even sure why there's a practical reason for being up there.

professional baseball player

I went through life as "a player to be named later.”

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host

I have an amazing ability to forget.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager

All the Padres need is a fly ball in the air.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Cricket is baseball on valium.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

If Lew could cook, I’d marry him.

baseball manager

I never thought you could win a Pulitzer just for quoting Tommy Lasorda correctly.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

I was so bad, I couldn’t have driven Miss Daisy home.

baseball player

They both (statistics & bikinis) show a lot, but not everything.

American baseball player

Managing is getting paid for home runs someone else hits.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is… well, an umpire.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

That boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

We know we’re better than this, but we can’t prove it.

American baseball player

Trying to throw a fastball by Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sun by a rooster.

(1929 – ) American baseball player

Being a White Sox fan meant measuring victory in terms of defeat. A 6-5 defeat was a good day. A big rally was Wally Moses doubling down the right-field line.


There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

What’s everyone blaming me for? … Blame Felix; I wouldn’t have hit into the double-plays if he hadn’t hit singles.

American baseball player, manager & executive

Wait until Tommy (Lasorda) meets the Lord and finds out that He's wearing pinstripes.

American baseball pitcher

They should move first base back one step to eliminate all those close plays.

professional baseball player