Subject: Sports » Baseball (Page 27)

I've got a tip on the market for you fellows, buy Pennsylvania Railroad – because by tomorrow night about a dozen of you bums will be riding on it.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

He (Don Drysdale) talks very well for a guy who's had two fingers in his mouth all his life.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager

I guess I’d better send my fingers to Cooperstown.

baseball player

I was the worst hitter ever; I never even broke a bat until last year when I was backing out of the garage.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

I can see them buying Mauer the city of Duluth.

baseball sports writer & analyst

Wait until Tommy (Lasorda) meets the Lord and finds out that He's wearing pinstripes.

American baseball pitcher

Claudell Washington plays the outfield like he's trying to catch grenades.

professional baseball player

I’ve never seen a game like this; every game this year has been like this.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

If you know how to cheat, start now

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager

The only man I've ever known who could strut sitting down.

(1860 – 1931) American baseball writer & humorist

When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Tito Fuentes is safe at second with a triple.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

Probably the best thing that happened to me was going nuts. Nobody knew who I was until that happened.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder

Every five years, a man has to change his Sox.

professional baseball player & broadcaster

Why, they shot the wrong McKinley!

professional baseball player

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

The only good thing about playing for Cleveland is you don't have to make road trips there.

American baseball player

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is… well, an umpire.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer