Subject: Sports » Baseball (Page 7)

I guess I'll have to gain 60 pounds, start smoking a cigar and wear clothes that don't match.

American baseball player

George Brett could get good wood on an aspirin.

American baseball manager

They said I was such a great prospect that they were sending me to a winter league to sharpen up.; when I stepped off the plane, I was in Greenland.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor

Hell, if KY jelly went off the market, the whole California Angels pitching staff would be out of baseball.

American baseball pitcher

This guy's tough. He had a face that looked like it'd hold two days of rain.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom’s apple pie.

(1926 – 1991) American television journalist

He wants Texas back.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader and that puts another keg in the Cubs’ coffin.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

They expect an umpire to be perfect on opening day and to improve as the season goes on.

American baseball umpire

He can run anytime he wants; I’m giving him the red light.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.

(1932 – 1997) newspaper columnist

Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

From the way Denny’s shaking his head, he’s either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

Baseball and malaria keep coming back.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager

Every season has its peaks and valleys. What you have to try to do is eliminate the Grand Canyon.

baseball player

I don’t room with him [Babe Ruth]; I room with his suitcase.

professional baseball player

Baseball owners have moral scruples against taking any man’s dollar when there is a chance to take a dollar and a quarter.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

No, I had 999 times to get ready for it.

American baseball player

What makes him unusual is that he thinks he's normal and everyone else is nuts.

American baseball manager

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player