Football | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports » Football

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

Oscar Wilde

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

Roger Simon

novelist, screenwriter & businessman

Football God Men Sports Women

I wouldn’t ever set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was, you know, important – like a league game or something.

Dick Butkus

professional football player

Football Sports Injuries

It is better to give a lick than receive one.

Bo Jackson

American football player

Football Sports

If we hadn’t given them those first four touchdowns, it might have been different.

H.K. "Cootie" Reeves

American football coach

Football Misspokements Sports On losing a game 53-0

He may be the only kicker to kick and collect Social Security at the same time.

John McKay

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Age Football Old Sports On 41-year-old kicker Jan Stenerud

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

Frank Layden

American basketball coach & executive

Education Football School Sports

A big factor in the game was the number of points scored.

Mike Ditka

(1939 – ) American football player & coach

Football Misspokements Sports

Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can't play football worth a damn.

John McKay

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Emotions Football Sports

It's like embalming. Nobody likes it, but somebody has to do it.

Greg Pruitt

American football player

Football Sports On returning punts

Penn State had less firepower than Sweden did in World War II.

'Beano' Cook

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

Football Sports After a Penn State game

[Punter] Bill Bradley kicks them so high and so short you can't run them back; you have to fair catch every one. Us coaches call that the punt of no return.

'Beano' Cook

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

Football Language Sports Punts

Most football players are temperamental… that’s 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.

Doug Plank

professional football player

Football Sports

A genius in the NFL is a guy who won last week.

John McKay

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Football Sports Coaching Genius

Whenever they gave him the game ball, he ate it.

Alex Hawkins

American football player

Football Sports On Dick Butkus

I don’t want to die in the middle of the football season; I have to know who’s No. 1 in the last polls.

'Beano' Cook

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

Death Football Sports

The New York Jets have been given permission to sell Girl Scout Cookies.

David Letterman

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

Football After 12 NFL teams were told they had permission to sell Super Bowl Tickets after the end of the regular season

It's like my ex-wife… 21 different personalities and seven of them hated me.

Jack Rose

American football coach

Football Marriage Sports Wives On his Ex-Wife

Speed, strength and the inability to register pain immediately.

Reggie Williams

American football player

Football Sports On his greatest strength as a football player

It would have been a good pass if Harry had been playing for us.

John McKay

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Football Sports After Harry Carson intercepted a pass

After indulging in some heavy, late-night research with scholarly friends, Bobby was driving back to his hotel, innocently enough, when he was sideswiped by several empty cars lurking at curbside.

Blackie Sherrod

(1919 – ) American sportswriter

Football Sports On quarterback Bobby Layne’s traffic accident

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Subject: Sports » Football

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

I wouldn’t ever set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was, you know, important – like a league game or something.

It is better to give a lick than receive one.

If we hadn’t given them those first four touchdowns, it might have been different.

He may be the only kicker to kick and collect Social Security at the same time.

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

A big factor in the game was the number of points scored.

Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can't play football worth a damn.

It's like embalming. Nobody likes it, but somebody has to do it.

Penn State had less firepower than Sweden did in World War II.

[Punter] Bill Bradley kicks them so high and so short you can't run them back; you have to fair catch every one. Us coaches call that the punt of no return.

Most football players are temperamental… that’s 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.

A genius in the NFL is a guy who won last week.

Whenever they gave him the game ball, he ate it.

I don’t want to die in the middle of the football season; I have to know who’s No. 1 in the last polls.

The New York Jets have been given permission to sell Girl Scout Cookies.

It's like my ex-wife… 21 different personalities and seven of them hated me.

Speed, strength and the inability to register pain immediately.

It would have been a good pass if Harry had been playing for us.

After indulging in some heavy, late-night research with scholarly friends, Bobby was driving back to his hotel, innocently enough, when he was sideswiped by several empty cars lurking at curbside.