Subject: Sports » Football (Page 13)

If there’s a pileup, they’ll have to give some of the players artificial insemination.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

I won’t know until my barber tells me on Monday.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Football Sports

If you lose your best cornerback and punter, I’d say that’s a double loss.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

He was the only man I ever saw who ran his own interference.

professional football player & coach
Football Sports

With so many Super Bowl rings, maybe they'll all retire and go into the jewelry business.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

We’re not attempting to circumcise the rules.

football coach
Football Malaprops Sports

I have a lifetime contract. That means I can't be fired during the third quarter if we're ahead and moving the ball.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

Three things are bad for you: I can't remember the first two, but doughnuts are the third.

football coach
Food/Drink Football Health Sports

After indulging in some heavy, late-night research with scholarly friends, Bobby was driving back to his hotel, innocently enough, when he was sideswiped by several empty cars lurking at curbside.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Football Sports

The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

The Bears aren't very genteel; some teams tend to remove the football from you, the Bears remove you from the football – it's much quicker.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Football Sports

I didn't quit football because I failed a drug test, I failed a test because I was ready to quit football.

American football player
Activities Drugs Football Sports

The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract.

professional football player
Football Misspokements Sports

He runs like a camel… a really pissed off camel.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Football Sports

I know their mother… she'd give them all my plays.

college football coach
Family Football Sports

I've found that prayers work best when you have big players.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Beliefs Football Sports

Well the frog men finally got Rosie.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Football

Urban should know. Almost 30 of his players have been arrested over the years, so he apparently knows a bad guy when he sees one.

sports reporter
Football Sports

Ten thousand bucks if ya knock him outta the game. I don't care if ya hit him with a whiskey bottle when he gets off the bus.

American football player
Football Sports

The quarterback’s spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Football Situations Sports

When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team.

American basketball coach
Basketball Football Sports