Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

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Subject: Sports » Football (Page 6)

They let you chase girls, they just don’t let you catch them.

Glen Kozlowski

Brigham Young University football player

Football Sports On the Mormon Church’s influence on his team

Urban should know. Almost 30 of his players have been arrested over the years, so he apparently knows a bad guy when he sees one.

Greg Cote

sports reporter

Football Sports After Florida coach Urban Meyer called a reporter a ‘bad guy’

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

Sue Lawley

(1946 – ) English broadcaster

Football Sports Rugby

I’m traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop #85.

Chad Johnson

professional football player (#85)

Football Misspokements Sports

If he wanted me to run 26 miles through the hills, I would. If he wanted me to carry water bottles, I would. If he wanted me to get my hair cut like his… well, you have to draw the line somewhere.

'Babe' Laufenberg

American football player

Football Sports On coach Jimmy Johnson's hair

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?

Vince Lombardi

(1913 – 1970) football coach

Football Sports Winning

What’s one more torpedo in a sinking ship?

Lynn Dickey

American football player

Football Health Sports On why he was playing despite numerous major injuries

I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel 'em off one by one until I get to the ball carrier… him I keep.

Big Daddy (Eugene) Lipscomb

professional football player

Football Sports Tackling

We'll have an offensive team and a defensive team, and the other team will be in charge of carrying me off the field.

John McKay

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

Football Sports On playing a game with only a small number of players

We got to practice a little bit. I want these guys to be bouncing around like a pogo stick on Viagra.

Bob Green

football coach

Football Misspokements Sports

Football coaches walk across the field after the game and pretend to congratulate the opposing coach; baseball managers head right for the beer.

Thomas Boswell

American sportswriter

Baseball Football Sports Coaches

Sure, the home-field is an advantage — but so is having a lot of talent.

Dan Marino

(1961 – ) American football player

Football Sports On home-field advantage