Subject: Sports » Golf

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball; I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

(1934 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Golf

I don’t enjoy playing video golf because there’s nothing to throw.

American professional golfer
Entertainment Golf Sports

Show me a man with a great golf game, and I’ll show you a man who has been neglecting something.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Golf Sports

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing; now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Communication Golf Speech Sports

It's not whether you win or lose – but whether I win or lose!

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf… I think it was my ex-wife.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Sports

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using “an outside agency” and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.

British golf writer & commentator
God Golf Sports

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

golf writer
Golf Sports

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Golf Sports

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

They look like two lobsters trying to mate.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint… after 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Golf Sports

They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them; golf is more complicated than that.

(1927 – 1998) American professional golfer
Death Golf Sports

The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.

(1927 – ) British journalist & author
Golf Sports

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.

(1928 – ) Armenian American politician
Golf Government Sports

To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

I figure practice puts your brains in your muscles.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports