Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 11)

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

Golf Occupations Sports Work

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

One hundred years of experience has demonstrated that the game is temporary insanity practiced in a pasture.

American sports journalist
Golf Sports

Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.

(1912 – 2003) American sports writer
Characteristics Golf Honesty Lies Sports

I'd like to see the fairways more narrow; then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me.

Spanish professional golfer
Golf Sports

Dead Golfer Plays His Best Round

Golf Headlines Sports

Some players would complain if they had to play on Dolly Parton's bedspread.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf Sports

You can talk to a fade but a hook won’t listen.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

He plays just like a union man… he negotiates the final score.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

I went to bed and I was old and washed up. I woke up a rookie… what could be better?

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Too much ambition is a bad thing to have in a bunker.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

A professional will tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of your club. The more the flex, the more strength you will need to break the thing over your knees.

Golf Sports

Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Activities Golf Sports

Golf is just a game – and an idiotic game most of the time.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

A well-adjusted man is one who can play golf as if it were a game.

Golf Sports

Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the course!

Carl: Check me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Golf Sports TV/Movie Quotes

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Golf Sports

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports