Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 13)

I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything would be perfect.

(1933 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Money Sports

I’m a golfer – not an athlete.

professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives; but I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.

(1912 – 2003) American sports writer
Characteristics Golf Honesty Lies Sports

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s golf.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

Definitions Golf Sports

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. 


(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Communication Golf Sports

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Activities Golf Sports

I'd like to see the fairways more narrow; then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me.

Spanish professional golfer
Golf Sports

Once bitten, it is akin to having your neck punctured in Transylvania… there is no known antidote.

golf course architect
Golf Sports

The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is – don't.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child; just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Honesty Insults Intelligence Sports

He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.

Golf Sports

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Activities Golf Sports

In golf, I'm one under; one under a tree, one under a rock, and one under a bush…

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Golf Sports

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports