Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 14)

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

(1918 – ) American Christian evangelist
Golf Sports

At first a golfer excuses a dismal performance by claiming bad lies; with experience, he covers up with better ones.

Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Golf Sports

Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

That was a great shot – if they’d put the pin there today.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

(We) should be allowed to wear shorts; God almighty, (LPGA) women are allowed to wear ‘em, and we’ve got better legs than they do.

professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

In golf, I'm one under; one under a tree, one under a rock, and one under a bush…

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Golf Sports

[tees off] Fore! [his ball hits Judge Smails in the crotch] … I should have yelled, “Two!”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Golf Sports TV/Movie Quotes

Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Golf Sports

You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Congress

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Congress Golf Government Sports

I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Golf Sports

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Golf Sports

Golf is not a game, it’s bondage; it was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.

Golf Sports