Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 15)

Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver; the sand wedge is far more effective.

Golf Sports

All I've got against golf is it takes you so far from the clubhouse.

Welsh-born Scottish writer
Golf Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen, you will hear an alibi.

Golf Sports

The three things I fear most in golf are lightening, Ben Hogan, and a downhill putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Go ahead and putt, you are not interrupting my conversation. 


Golf Sports

When you hear someone shout "You da man" – if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man. 

newspaper sports columnist
Golf Sports

The rest of the field.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I don’t enjoy playing video golf because there’s nothing to throw.

American professional golfer
Entertainment Golf Sports

I've thought about buying those new, long distance balls, but I wonder, what's the point of hitting golf balls even further out of bounds?

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

I never knew what top golf was like until I turned professional… then it was too late.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports Success

Around a clubhouse they'll tell you even God has to practice his putting. In fact, even Nicklaus does.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Misspokements Sports

My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

You drive for show, but putt for dough.

South African professional golfer
Golf Sports

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing; now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

[tees off] Fore! [his ball hits Judge Smails in the crotch] … I should have yelled, “Two!”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Golf Sports TV/Movie Quotes

It's like an octopus falling out of a tree.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors.

(1888 –1961) Irish actor Irish actor
Golf Sports