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Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 15)

He told me he caddied in the same group with me in the Hot Springs Open. That's why I voted for him, because he was a caddie.

Tommy Bolt

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer

But if you figure in the wind chill factor, it’s only 102.

Dave Marr

professional golfer

Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports On a 104 degree temperature

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would've been a great shot.

Sam Snead

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golf Sports

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf People Sports Gerald Ford

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately; ring the nearest golf course.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Doctors Golf Health Sports

I'd like to see the fairways more narrow; then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me.

Seve Ballesteros

Spanish professional golfer

Golf Sports

I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I make the putt.

Seve Ballesteros

Spanish professional golfer

Golf Sports When asked to explain a four-putt

On a golf course, Jack had the hands of a violinist; that was fair, because as a violinist, Jack had the hands of a golfer.

George Burns

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Entertainment Golf Music Sports Jack Benny Violin

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Anonymous

Definitions Golf Sports Stroke

Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the course!
Carl: Check me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key.

Bill Murray

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian

Golf Sports TV/Movie Quotes As Carl Spackler in “Caddyshack” Gophers

The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other four-letter words were used up.

Anonymous

Golf Sports Credited to many Swearing

There are two things you can do with your head down– play golf and pray.

'Chi Chi' Rodríguez

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer

Golf Sports

The least thing upsets him on the links; he missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Characteristics Golf Sports

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off; I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

'Chi Chi' Rodríguez

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer

Alcohol Golf Sports Masters Nervous

A woman I know is engaged to a real golf nut. They are supposed to get married next Saturday…but only if it rains.

Cindy Garner

Golf Marriage Sports

He told me just to keep the ball low.

'Chi Chi' Rodríguez

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer

Golf Sports On the advice his caddie gave him before a crucial putt

Golf: An ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose.

Winston Churchill

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

Golf Sports

You can talk to a fade but a hook won’t listen.

Lee Trevino

(1942 – ) American professional golfer

Golf Sports

Golf: A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.

Anonymous

Definitions Golf Sports

You don’t know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two in your pocket.

Lee Trevino

(1942 – ) American professional golfer

Golf Sports Pressure

Congress

Lyndon Johnson

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president

Congress Golf Government Sports When asked his handicap at a golf tournament

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Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 15)

He told me he caddied in the same group with me in the Hot Springs Open. That's why I voted for him, because he was a caddie.

But if you figure in the wind chill factor, it’s only 102.

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would've been a great shot.

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately; ring the nearest golf course.

I'd like to see the fairways more narrow; then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me.

I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I make the putt.

On a golf course, Jack had the hands of a violinist; that was fair, because as a violinist, Jack had the hands of a golfer.

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the course!
Carl: Check me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key.

The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other four-letter words were used up.

There are two things you can do with your head down– play golf and pray.

The least thing upsets him on the links; he missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off; I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

A woman I know is engaged to a real golf nut. They are supposed to get married next Saturday…but only if it rains.

He told me just to keep the ball low.

Golf: An ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose.

You can talk to a fade but a hook won’t listen.

Golf: A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.

You don’t know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two in your pocket.

Congress