Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 16)

Some players would complain if they had to play on Dolly Parton's bedspread.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf Sports

"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf; the other is "Wear it if it clashes."

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

I think Jessel’s philosophy about golf was something like: If all you’re going to do is chase the ball, why hit it in the first place?

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Golf Sports

It is so long it’s the first time I’ve had to take into account the curvature of the earth.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
America Golf Government Sports

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint… after 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Golf Sports

The score a player reports on any hole should always be regarded as his opening offer.

Anglo-Irish golfer
Golf Sports

It’s hard to play a guy who rattles his medals while you’re putting.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

Golfing excellence goes hand in hand with alcohol, as many an Open and Amateur champion has shown.

British golf writer & commentator
Alcohol Food/Drink Golf Sports

I was three over, one over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.

(1953 – ) American baseball player
Golf Sports

I went to bed and I was old and washed up. I woke up a rookie… what could be better?

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Around a clubhouse they'll tell you even God has to practice his putting. In fact, even Nicklaus does.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Misspokements Sports

My handicap is that I don’t have a big enough beer cooler for the back of my golf cart.

professional football player
Golf Misspokements Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Man blames most accidents on fate – but feels a more personal responsibility when he makes a hole-in-one on the golf course.

Golf Sports

A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Gimme: An agreement between two duffer golfers who can’t putt.

Definitions Golf Sports

Swing hard in case you hit it.

(1961 – ) American football player
Golf Sports

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

The only thing you should force in a golf swing is the club back in the bag.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Stroke-Of-Luck: Hole-in-One.

Definitions Golf Sports