Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 16)

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

golf writer
Golf Sports

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

That sounded like he hit a roll of wet toilet paper.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Family Fathers Golf Sports

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

On a golf course, Jack had the hands of a violinist; that was fair, because as a violinist, Jack had the hands of a golfer.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Golf Music Sports

Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Golf Sports

Absentee: A missing golfing peg.

Definitions Golf Sports

The safest place would be in the fairway.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Golf Sports

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt… the rest can never be mastered.

(1946 – ) British politician
Golf Sports

The rest of the field.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Businessman: One who talks golf all morning at the office, and business all afternoon on the links.

Definitions Golf Occupations

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions Golf Laughter Sports

There are two things you can do with your head down– play golf and pray.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

He plays just like a union man… he negotiates the final score.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other four-letter words were used up.

Golf Sports

What’s nice about the Senior Tour, is you can’t remember your bad shots.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports