Golf | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 17)

You drive for show, but putt for dough.

Bobby Locke

South African professional golfer

This is a game of misses; the guy who misses the best is going to win.

Ben Hogan

American professional golfer

Golf Sports

I've thought about buying those new, long distance balls, but I wonder, what's the point of hitting golf balls even further out of bounds?

Bruce Lansky

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist

Golf Sports Golf balls

If I needed advice from my caddie, he'd be hitting the shots and I'd be carrying the bag.

Bobby Jones

American professional golfer

Golf Sports Advice Caddies

Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Golf Sports

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

Sam Snead

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golf Sports

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.

Phyllis Diller

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Emotions Golf Laughter Sports Pro

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Lee Trevino

(1942 – ) American professional golfer

God Golf Sports

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports On cheating in golf

Your clubs.

Jackie Gleason

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian

Golf Sports When asked by Toots Shor what to give his caddie after shooting 211

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

Dan Jenkins

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter

Golf Sports Putting

The great thing about golf – and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it – you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Beer Food/Drink Golf Sports

For those who know golf, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, no explanation is possible.

Jim Murray

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

Golf Sports

There is an old saying: If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot.

Sam Snead

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golf Sports

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

God Golf Sports Lightning

Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

Winston Churchill

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

Activities Golf Sports

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is.

Horace Hutchinson

golf author

Golf Sports Profanity

Never putt until the cup stops moving.

Bruce Lansky

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist

Golf Sports Putting

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf… I think it was my ex-wife.

Bruce Lansky

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist

Golf Sports

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Characteristics Golf Sports

Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

Ken Brown

sports commentator

Golf Misspokements Sports On golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open

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Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 17)

You drive for show, but putt for dough.

This is a game of misses; the guy who misses the best is going to win.

I've thought about buying those new, long distance balls, but I wonder, what's the point of hitting golf balls even further out of bounds?

If I needed advice from my caddie, he'd be hitting the shots and I'd be carrying the bag.

Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

Your clubs.

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

The great thing about golf – and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it – you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.

For those who know golf, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, no explanation is possible.

There is an old saying: If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot.

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is.

Never putt until the cup stops moving.

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf… I think it was my ex-wife.

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.