Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 18)

You drive for show, but putt for dough.

South African professional golfer
Golf Sports

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

I played golf. I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. … you're supposed to yell, Fore! but I was too busy yelling, “There ain't no way that's gonna hit him!”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Golf Sports

Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf… I think it was my ex-wife.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem – slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Golf Sports

Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Sports

My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

Golf Headlines Sports

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

There is no movement in the golf swing so difficult that it cannot be made even more difficult by careful study and diligent practice.

Anglo-Irish golfer
Golf Sports

She's slower than trying to bake a pie with a lighter.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Go ahead and putt, you are not interrupting my conversation. 


Golf Sports

"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf; the other is "Wear it if it clashes."

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment Golf Sports

If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports