Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 19)

I may be the only golfer never to have broken a single putter; if you don't count the one I twisted and threw into a bush.

American sportswriter
Golf Sports

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

Definitions Golf Sports

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf Sports

You can’t lose an old golf ball.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

I think Jessel’s philosophy about golf was something like: If all you’re going to do is chase the ball, why hit it in the first place?

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Golf Sports

Golf is the loneliest of games, not excluding postal chess.

golf writer
Golf Sports

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

Golf Occupations Sports Work

[tees off] Fore! [his ball hits Judge Smails in the crotch] … I should have yelled, “Two!”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Golf Sports TV/Movie Quotes

Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Sports

A well-adjusted man is one who can play golf as if it were a game.

Golf Sports

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

(1949 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.

(1929 – 2016) American golfer
Golf Sports

Hockey is a sport for white men; basketball is a sport for black men; golf is a sport for white men dressed like pimps.

professional golfer
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

If God wants to produce the ideal golfer then He should create a being with a set of unequal arms and likewise legs, an elbow-free left arm, knees which hinge sideways and a ribless torso from which emerges, at an angle of 45 degrees, a stretched neck fitted with one color-blind eye stuck firmly on the left side.

golf author
Golf Sports