Golf | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 3)

I never knew what top golf was like until I turned professional… then it was too late.

Steve Melnyk

American professional golfer

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Acting Entertainment Golf Sports

There are two things that won’t last long in this world – dogs that chase cars and pros that putt for pars.

Lee Trevino

(1942 – ) American professional golfer

Golf Sports

The great thing about golf – and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it – you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Beer Food/Drink Golf Sports

One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water.

Lee Trevino

(1942 – ) American professional golfer

Golf Describing how he was one under during a tournament

Yes, golf can be taught – it’s just that it can’t be learned.

Leslie Nielsen

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor

Golf Sports

Golf is the only game in which a precise knowledge of the rules can earn one a reputation for bad sportsmanship.

Patrick Campbell

Irish journalist & author

Golf Sports Rules

Golf is just a game – and an idiotic game most of the time.

Mark Calcavecchia

American professional golfer

Golf Sports

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Anonymous

Golf Sports

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula… and it took a 7 to do that.

Jim Murray

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

Golf Sports 1-iron

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

Dan Jenkins

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter

Golf Sports Putting

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.

Silk Stockings TV Show

Entertainment Golf Music Sports Bagpipes

That was a great shot – if they’d put the pin there today.

David Feherty

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

Golf Sports

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf Sports Jewelry Sammy Davis Jr.

They're why the Hubble telescope is pointed away from the earth.

David Feherty

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

Golf Sports On John Daly’s loud pants

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

Wells's Virtual Law

Appearance Body Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports H.G. Wells

I've heard people say putting is 50 percent technique and 50 percent mental. I really believe it is 50 percent technique and 90 percent positive thinking, see, but that adds up to 140 percent, which is why nobody is 100 percent sure how to putt.

'Chi Chi' Rodríguez

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer

Golf Sports Putting

I figure practice puts your brains in your muscles.

Sam Snead

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golf Sports Practice

Any guy who would pass up a chance to see Sam Snead play golf would pull the shades driving past the Taj Mahal.

Jim Murray

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

Golf Sports Sam Snead

At least he can’t cheat on his score because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf People Sports Cheating Gerald Ford Wounded

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

Jim Bishop

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author

Golf Sports

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Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 3)

I never knew what top golf was like until I turned professional… then it was too late.

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

There are two things that won’t last long in this world – dogs that chase cars and pros that putt for pars.

The great thing about golf – and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it – you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.

One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water.

Yes, golf can be taught – it’s just that it can’t be learned.

Golf is the only game in which a precise knowledge of the rules can earn one a reputation for bad sportsmanship.

Golf is just a game – and an idiotic game most of the time.

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula… and it took a 7 to do that.

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.

That was a great shot – if they’d put the pin there today.

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

They're why the Hubble telescope is pointed away from the earth.

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

I've heard people say putting is 50 percent technique and 50 percent mental. I really believe it is 50 percent technique and 90 percent positive thinking, see, but that adds up to 140 percent, which is why nobody is 100 percent sure how to putt.

I figure practice puts your brains in your muscles.

Any guy who would pass up a chance to see Sam Snead play golf would pull the shades driving past the Taj Mahal.

At least he can’t cheat on his score because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.