Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 3)

Dr. Beeper: I thought you’d be the man to beat this year.

Ty Webb: I guess you’ll just have to keep beating yourself.

(1943 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Golf TV/Movie Quotes

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

(1770 – 1850) English Romantic poet
Golf Sports

"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf; the other is "Wear it if it clashes."

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Activities Age Golf Old Sports Time

To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Golf Sports

You can make a lot of money in this game; just ask my ex-wives; both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Money Sports Wives

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.

Golf Sports

Water holes are sacrificial waters where you make a steady gift of your pride and high-priced balls.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

novelist, screenwriter & businessman
Clothing Golf Sports

That putt had more breaks than a government job.

golf writer
Golf Sports

Golf is the only game in which a precise knowledge of the rules can earn one a reputation for bad sportsmanship.

Irish journalist & author
Golf Sports

The older I get, the better I used to be.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Age Golf Old Sports

Playing with your spouse on the golf course runs almost as great a marital risk as getting caught playing with someone else's anywhere else.

golf journalist
Golf Marriage Sports

Never putt until the cup stops moving.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf Sports

Golf: An ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Golf Sports