Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 3)

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

Golf Occupations Sports Work

I know you can be fined for throwing a club, but I want to know if you can get fined for throwing a caddie?

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

It's like an octopus falling out of a tree.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball; I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

(1934 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Golf

You drive for show, but putt for dough.

South African professional golfer
Golf Sports

Most people play a fair game of golf… if you watch them.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Golf Sports

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment Golf Sports

I've heard people say putting is 50 percent technique and 50 percent mental. I really believe it is 50 percent technique and 90 percent positive thinking, see, but that adds up to 140 percent, which is why nobody is 100 percent sure how to putt.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

I try to play golf at least once a day.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Golf Sports

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

She's slower than trying to bake a pie with a lighter.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

If God wants to produce the ideal golfer then He should create a being with a set of unequal arms and likewise legs, an elbow-free left arm, knees which hinge sideways and a ribless torso from which emerges, at an angle of 45 degrees, a stretched neck fitted with one color-blind eye stuck firmly on the left side.

golf author
Golf Sports

All I've got against golf is it takes you so far from the clubhouse.

Welsh-born Scottish writer
Golf Sports

We learn so many things from golf – how to suffer, for instance.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

Your financial cost can best be figured out when you realize that if you were to devote the same time and energy to business instead of golf, you would be a millionaire in approximately six weeks.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

(1918 – ) American Christian evangelist
Golf Sports

I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Activities Age Golf Old Sports Time

The main problem with keeping your eye on the ball is you have to take your eye off your opponent.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports