Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 4)

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

Appearance Body Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

My clubs are well used, but unfortunately not used well.

Golf Sports

You can make a lot of money in this game; just ask my ex-wives; both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Money Sports Wives

Dead Golfer Plays His Best Round

Golf Headlines Sports

Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.

Golf Misspokements Sports

Golf isn’t a game, it’s a choice that one makes with one’s life.

screenwriter & producer
Golf Sports

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Problems Sports

The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.

(1927 – ) British journalist & author
Golf Sports

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit it that far.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Age Golf Old Sports

If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable – but not as miserable.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Golf Sports

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf People Sports

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is – don't.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Swing hard in case you hit it.

(1961 – ) American football player
Golf Sports

John Daly's longer than Greg Norman… he’s even longer than War and Peace.

American sports columnist
Golf Sports

I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn't be here this week… he is attending the birth of his next wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

If you break 100, watch your golf; if you break 80, watch your business.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Golf Sports Work

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off; I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

I was so bad at it, [golf] they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

The least thing upsets him on the links; he missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Appearance Golf Sports