Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 5)

Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Sports

God said to Faldo, as He once said to Nicklaus, "You will have the skills like no other." Then he whispered to Ballesteros, as he whispered to Palmer, "But they will love you more."

American sportswriter
Golf Sports

All I've got against golf is it takes you so far from the clubhouse.

Welsh-born Scottish writer
Golf Sports

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Golf Sports

I may be the only golfer never to have broken a single putter; if you don't count the one I twisted and threw into a bush.

American sportswriter
Golf Sports

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is.

golf author
Golf Sports

This one'll slide down the hill like a greased piglet.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

It's not whether you win or lose – but whether I win or lose!

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Your clubs.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian
Golf Sports

It'll take three good ones to be on in two today, Sir.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
America Golf Government Sports

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions Golf Laughter Sports

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf Sports

I spent $3 million on drink and $3 million on gambling, but I wasted the rest.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

I wouldn't trust him to sit on a toilet the right way.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses, because they will want to keep playing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

At least he can’t cheat on his score because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

I went to bed and I was old and washed up. I woke up a rookie… what could be better?

American professional golfer
Golf Sports