Golf | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 6)

(1942 – ) American professional golfer

Golf Sports Pressure

I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole in one and wrote down zero on his scorecard.

Bob Bruce

professional golfer

Characteristics Golf Honesty Sports Cheating

It’s not over yet.

Peter Alliss

British professional golfer & commentator

Golf Misspokements Sports After Phil Mickelson winning putt at the 2004 Masters

The only really unplayable lie I can think of is when you're supposed to be playing golf and come home with lipstick on your collar.

Arnold Palmer

(1929 – 2016) American golfer

Golf Sports

Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

Winston Churchill

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

Activities Golf Sports

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

Henry Longhurst

British golf writer & commentator

Golf Sports

You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.

Bob Bruce

professional golfer

Golf Sports

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball; I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Henry Aaron

(1934 – ) American baseball player

Baseball Golf

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Lee Trevino

(1942 – ) American professional golfer

God Golf Sports

Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him; the smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole.

Anonymous

Golf Sports Golf clubs

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

Sam Snead

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golf Sports

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Lee Trevino

(1942 – ) American professional golfer

Golf Sports

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula… and it took a 7 to do that.

Jim Murray

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

Golf Sports 1-iron

Your financial cost can best be figured out when you realize that if you were to devote the same time and energy to business instead of golf, you would be a millionaire in approximately six weeks.

Buddy Hackett

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor

Golf Sports

Some people say I play erratic golf. What they mean is I frequently play lousy.

Tom Shaw

American professional golfer

Golf Sports

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. 

Sam Snead

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golf Sports Grip

If you could eliminate the occasional bad shot you would be the first person to do so.

John Jacobs

American professional golfer

Golf Sports

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

Gerald Ford

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president

Golf Sports

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

Anonymous

Definitions Golf Sports Handicapped Golfer

My game is so bad I gotta hire three caddies – one to walk the left rough, one for the right rough, and one down the middle. And the one down the middle doesn't have much to do.

Dave Hill

American professional golfer

Golf Sports Caddies

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

Categories

Additional Categories

Oops...

Some Popular Authors

Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 6)

Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green.

You don’t know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two in your pocket.

I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole in one and wrote down zero on his scorecard.

It’s not over yet.

The only really unplayable lie I can think of is when you're supposed to be playing golf and come home with lipstick on your collar.

Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball; I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him; the smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole.

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula… and it took a 7 to do that.

Your financial cost can best be figured out when you realize that if you were to devote the same time and energy to business instead of golf, you would be a millionaire in approximately six weeks.

Some people say I play erratic golf. What they mean is I frequently play lousy.

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.

If you could eliminate the occasional bad shot you would be the first person to do so.

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

Handicapped Golfer: The man playing his boss.

My game is so bad I gotta hire three caddies – one to walk the left rough, one for the right rough, and one down the middle. And the one down the middle doesn't have much to do.