Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 7)

Your clubs.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian
Golf Sports

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately; ring the nearest golf course.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Doctors Golf Health Sports

The only thing you should force in a golf swing is the club back in the bag.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I’m having problems with my putting; but it’s the puttee, not the putter.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
God Golf Sports

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Golf Sports

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything.

American writer
Golf Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Golf: A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.

Definitions Golf Sports

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

When Lee [Trevino] and Jack [Nicklaus] win, it is good for golf; when I win, it is better.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

(1918 – ) American Christian evangelist
Golf Sports

I can tell you one thing. I've done this my way. I don't have anybody to blame for this win but me, and I love it.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

I figured out why they took out 8,000 trees at Oakmont. It's so people won't hang themselves.

professional golf caddie
Golf Sports

Golf: A game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose

(1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician
Golf Sports

Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver; the sand wedge is far more effective.

Golf Sports

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.

professional golfer
Golf Sports