Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 8)

When Lee [Trevino] and Jack [Nicklaus] win, it is good for golf; when I win, it is better.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

If he slices the budget like he slices a (golf) ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Government People Sports

One hundred years of experience has demonstrated that the game is temporary insanity practiced in a pasture.

American sports journalist
Golf Sports

The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.

(1927 – ) British journalist & author
Golf Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

Any guy who would pass up a chance to see Sam Snead play golf would pull the shades driving past the Taj Mahal.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Sports

There is an old saying: If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

When I ask you what club to use, look the other way and don't answer.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.


(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Definitions Golf Sports

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf Sports

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment Golf Sports

Golf is not just a good walk ruined, it’s also the act of hitting things violently with a stick ruined.

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Golf Sports

I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Language Sports

Some players would complain if they had to play on Dolly Parton's bedspread.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn’t float too well.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is.

golf author
Golf Sports

That son of a bitch was able to hole a putt over sixty feet of peanut brittle.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf is not, and never has been, a fair game.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports