Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 8)

The least thing upsets him on the links; he missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

sports commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims that he plays the game merely for exercise.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports

Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything.

American writer
Golf Sports

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf Sports

Gimme:  An agreement between two losers who can't putt.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf Situations Sports

A well-adjusted man is one who can play golf as if it were a game.

Golf Sports

I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I make the putt.

Spanish professional golfer
Golf Sports

Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green.

Golf Sports

I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

I don't have anywhere to put my elbows when I putt now.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen, you will hear an alibi.

Golf Sports

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Activities Age Golf Old Sports Time

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

His nerves, his memory… and I can’t remember the third thing.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

90% of the putts that are short don’t go in.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Golf Sports Yogi-isms