Hockey | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports » Hockey

I don't order fries with my club sandwich.

Mario Lemieux

Canadian hockey player

Hockey is the original extreme sport.

Tom Ward

American hockey player

Hockey Sports

Some guys play hockey… Gretzky plays 40 mph chess.

Lowell Cohn

American sportswriter

Hockey Sports Wayne Gretzky

The only way we could have, was to have shot him before the game started.

Brian Sutter

Canadian hockey player & coach

Hockey Sports On how his team could have stopped Jaromir Jagr

Every day you guys look worse and worse. And today you played like tomorrow.

Herb Brooks

American hockey player & coach

Hockey Sports To his U.S. Olympic hockey team

I was kind of hoping it would straighten it out.

Rod Brind'Amour

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports On suffering his fourth broken nose

The only difference between this and Custer's last stand was Custer didn't have to look at the tape afterwards.

Terry Crisp

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster

Hockey Sports After a 10-0 loss

Hockey is a mans game children can play, the other sports are children’s games that men play.

Unknown

Hockey Sports

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

Fred Shero

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager

Beliefs Hockey Opinion Sports Criticism

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

Pat Foley

hockey announcer

Hockey Sports Time

Hockey is a game played by six good players and a home team.

Murray’s Rule of Hockey

Hockey Murphy’s Laws Sports

To get my paycheck for two weeks, my family must work 200 years in Slovakia.

Pavol Demitra

Slovak hockey player

Hockey Sports On his 1.1 million dollar salary

Actually we’re trying to get it to flood both locker rooms, just to be fair.

Roger Newton

Nassau Coliseum general manager

Hockey Sports Joked when a sewage line backed up into their home dressing room

She doesn't pay me anything. I pay her. Besides, what position can she play?

Harold Ballard

Toronto Maple Leafs owner

Hockey Sports On taking down a picture of Queen Elizabeth in Maple Leaf Gardens

If officials called every penalty they saw, there would be no players on the ice and no one in the rink.

Frank Chadwick

professional hockey referee

Hockey Sports Penalties

I just tape four Tylenols to it.

Boris Mironov

Russian hockey player

Hockey Sports On playing with a sore ankle

When he put out his arms to celebrate, [after scoring his second goal] the rest of us skated immediately to the bench and left him there all alone.

Dave Taylor

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports After teammate Marcel Dionne received death threats if he scored two goals in a game

I've always felt we weren't physical enough on the back line. Now there's a no-parking sign in front of our net.

Dean Lombardi

hockey general manager

Hockey Sports On the addition of Marty McSorley to the Shark lineup

Winning is always fun, but the car is more important.

Teemu Selanne

Finnish hockey player

Hockey Sports On the importance of the All-Star game

I'd trade Larry Murphy for a shaved monkey who could skate and a bucket of pucks.

An angry Toronto Maple Leafs fan

Hockey Sports Larry Murphy

There are certain things about my game I don't want to change, but I think it's about time that I realized I can't fight every battle. Three hundred minutes in penalties is way too many. Way too many.

Rick Tocchet

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports Penalties

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Subject: Sports » Hockey

I don't order fries with my club sandwich.

Hockey is the original extreme sport.

Some guys play hockey… Gretzky plays 40 mph chess.

The only way we could have, was to have shot him before the game started.

Every day you guys look worse and worse. And today you played like tomorrow.

I was kind of hoping it would straighten it out.

The only difference between this and Custer's last stand was Custer didn't have to look at the tape afterwards.

Hockey is a mans game children can play, the other sports are children’s games that men play.

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

Hockey is a game played by six good players and a home team.

To get my paycheck for two weeks, my family must work 200 years in Slovakia.

Actually we’re trying to get it to flood both locker rooms, just to be fair.

She doesn't pay me anything. I pay her. Besides, what position can she play?

If officials called every penalty they saw, there would be no players on the ice and no one in the rink.

I just tape four Tylenols to it.

When he put out his arms to celebrate, [after scoring his second goal] the rest of us skated immediately to the bench and left him there all alone.

I've always felt we weren't physical enough on the back line. Now there's a no-parking sign in front of our net.

Winning is always fun, but the car is more important.

I'd trade Larry Murphy for a shaved monkey who could skate and a bucket of pucks.

There are certain things about my game I don't want to change, but I think it's about time that I realized I can't fight every battle. Three hundred minutes in penalties is way too many. Way too many.