Subject: Sports » Hockey (Page 6)

I was three-quarters down the list of guys I would be facing in my first game when I realized I was looking at our own roster.

Canadian hockey player

He just got me in the right spot. In the small of the back. A good, clean, dirty hit… not that I didn't deserve it.

American hockey player

I had all my own teeth and I wanted to keep it that way.

American baseball player

He had better get married soon, because he's getting uglier every day!

Canadian hockey player

All hockey players are bilingual; they know English and profanity.

(1928 – ) Canadian professional ice hockey player

Lunch is on me.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive

Every time a puck gets past me and I look back into the net, I say, ‘uh-oh.'

Canadian ice hockey goaltender

So what? I can play Smoke on the Water.

American hockey goaltender

I knew I was in trouble when I heard snap, crackle, and pop, and I wasn't having a bowl of cereal.

Canadian hockey player

Hockey players wear numbers because you can’t always identify the body with dental records.

Trade Steve Yzerman? That's like asking me if I want to trade my son Jason for the kid next door.

Canadian hockey coach & politician

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

He brings something special. I don’t know what it is, but if you ask him, you couldn’t understand his answer.

(1961 – ) Canadian hockey player & owner

Here’s Wellwood, seven-and-oh in the faceoffs, plus-two, two assists, played 20 minutes, drew eight minutes on the power play, lost a tooth and a pint of blood. What a guy.

Canadian hockey player, coach & commentator

After I took the Olympic job, my wife said to me, ‘You love hockey more than you love me.’ I told her, ‘Yes, dear, but I love you more than hunting and fishing.’

American hockey player & coach

Optimistically, you hope someday you’ll be in a magazine. Of course, your mom hopes it’s Sports Illustrated or something like that.

American hockey player & coach

For the Leafs, there are two kinds of games: those they lose because of the officiating and those they win despite the officiating.

Ottawa Mayor

They say something to me sometimes. But I don't understand all the words yet. So I smile at them and then I go score goal.

Russian hockey player

If you keep your opposition on their ass, they don’t score goals.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager

Aren’t all coaches interim coaches?

Canadian ice hockey coach

I had to pinch myself seeing the grassy knoll and the book suppository building.

Canadian hockey player