Hockey | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports » Hockey (Page 9)

Winning is always fun, but the car is more important.

Teemu Selanne

Finnish hockey player

When he put out his arms to celebrate, [after scoring his second goal] the rest of us skated immediately to the bench and left him there all alone.

Dave Taylor

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports After teammate Marcel Dionne received death threats if he scored two goals in a game

Goaltenders are three sandwiches shy of a picnic. From the moment primitive man lurched erect, he survived on the principle that when something hard and potentially lethal comes toward you at great velocity, get the hell out of it's path.

Jim Taylor

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports Goaltenders

We raced the other day and it wasn't a photo finish… it was an oil painting.

Bob Plager

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports After scrimmaging with another player who had injured his knee Racing

If I’m half the coach on the bench that I was in the stands, we’ll have no problems.

Bob Plager

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports Coaching

Hockey is the original extreme sport.

Tom Ward

American hockey player

Hockey Sports

Ever since he’s been a little boo-aw.

Mark Crawford

Canadian hockey coach

Hockey Sports On how long Patrick Roy had been pronouncing his name “Roo-aw”

I'm glad it's him and not some other puke.

Tiger Williams

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports On Tie Domi breaking Williams' record for career penalty minutes

Sean Avery’s got more tongue than a lumberjack’s boot.

Unknown hockey commentator

Hockey Sports On Sean Avery's outspokenness

I was kind of hoping it would straighten it out.

Rod Brind'Amour

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports On suffering his fourth broken nose

Watching a shootout is like admitting you watch Survivor or search the internet for porn.

Brendan Shanahan

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive

Hockey Sports Shootouts

The Rangers…

Gump Worsley

Canadian professional hockey goalie

Hockey Sports When asked which team gave him the most trouble — he played for the Rangers at the time

I'm not dumb enough to be a goalie.

Brett Hull

Canadian-born American hockey player

Hockey Sports Goalies

There are certain things about my game I don't want to change, but I think it's about time that I realized I can't fight every battle. Three hundred minutes in penalties is way too many. Way too many.

Rick Tocchet

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports Penalties

We hate each other. People assume that we respect each other because we’re black. We don’t.

Georges Laraque

Canadian hockey player & commentator

Hockey Sports About Donald Brashear after they fought three seconds into a game

I go from locker to locker, pretending the guys are here. You know, give them a little bit of a pep talk. It must be working, because we haven't lost a game yet.

Tommy McVie

hockey coach

Hockey Sports About his activities during the lockout

You know that creepy-looking guy you stare at two seats behind you, thinking, who would come to a movie by himself? That's me.

Brendan Shanahan

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive

Hockey People Self Sports

Life is just a place where we spend time between games.

Fred Shero

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager

Hockey Sports

Hockey is a mans game children can play, the other sports are children’s games that men play.

Unknown

Hockey Sports

Really, there are none. We traded him for a 10th round pick in a nine-round draft.

Bobby Clarke

professional hockey player

Hockey Sports On what future considerations he received from the Nashville Predators for Sergei Klimentiev

They can say what they want, but playoff hockey is a whole other ballgame.

Sam Quevares

Hockey Misspokements Sports

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Subject: Sports » Hockey (Page 9)

Winning is always fun, but the car is more important.

When he put out his arms to celebrate, [after scoring his second goal] the rest of us skated immediately to the bench and left him there all alone.

Goaltenders are three sandwiches shy of a picnic. From the moment primitive man lurched erect, he survived on the principle that when something hard and potentially lethal comes toward you at great velocity, get the hell out of it's path.

We raced the other day and it wasn't a photo finish… it was an oil painting.

If I’m half the coach on the bench that I was in the stands, we’ll have no problems.

Hockey is the original extreme sport.

Ever since he’s been a little boo-aw.

I'm glad it's him and not some other puke.

Sean Avery’s got more tongue than a lumberjack’s boot.

I was kind of hoping it would straighten it out.

Watching a shootout is like admitting you watch Survivor or search the internet for porn.

The Rangers…

I'm not dumb enough to be a goalie.

There are certain things about my game I don't want to change, but I think it's about time that I realized I can't fight every battle. Three hundred minutes in penalties is way too many. Way too many.

We hate each other. People assume that we respect each other because we’re black. We don’t.

I go from locker to locker, pretending the guys are here. You know, give them a little bit of a pep talk. It must be working, because we haven't lost a game yet.

You know that creepy-looking guy you stare at two seats behind you, thinking, who would come to a movie by himself? That's me.

Life is just a place where we spend time between games.

Hockey is a mans game children can play, the other sports are children’s games that men play.

Really, there are none. We traded him for a 10th round pick in a nine-round draft.

They can say what they want, but playoff hockey is a whole other ballgame.