Hockey | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports » Hockey (Page 9)

Why is a puck called a puck? Because ‘dirty little bastard’ was taken.

Martin Brodeur

Canadian hockey player

By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series

Steve Rushin

(1966 – ) American journalist & novelist

Conflict Hockey Sports Violence

Was Wayne Gretzky sick?

Larry Robinson

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports After winning the ‘Player of the Week’ award

A goal, an assist and a fight.

Keith Tkachuk

American ice hockey player

Hockey Sports Describing ‘A Gordie Howe Hat Trick’

There are rough players and there are dirty players. I'm rough and dirty.

Stan Mikita

Slovak-born Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports

If everything were going good for him, he'd be having success.

Scott Gordon

American hockey coach

Hockey Misspokements Sports On his goalie who allowed 13 goals in a two-game stretch

Anytime you hold Dallas to a one touchdown, it's not all bad.

Bobby Smith

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager

Hockey Sports After a 7-2 loss

I didn't hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears.

Jeremy Roenick

professional hockey player

Hockey Sports Referring to Jeremy Roenick’s talking during the NHL playoffs

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

Pat Foley

hockey announcer

Hockey Sports Time

Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good.

Tom Watt

professional hockey coach

Hockey Misspokements Sports When his team was not so good

I was three-quarters down the list of guys I would be facing in my first game when I realized I was looking at our own roster.

Glenn Healy

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Sports On preparing for his first game Opponents

Sean Avery’s got more tongue than a lumberjack’s boot.

Unknown hockey commentator

Hockey Sports On Sean Avery's outspokenness

He shortened my career having to chase him around the ice all the time.

Butch Goring

Canadian ice hockey player & coach

Hockey Sports Wayne Gretzky

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

Steven Wright

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Appearance Body Fat Hockey

He just got me in the right spot. In the small of the back. A good, clean, dirty hit… not that I didn't deserve it.

Chris Chelios

American hockey player

Hockey Sports After taking a hit from Calgary Flames defensemen Glen Featherstone

He’s easy to do. Sit on the bench. Play about 10 minutes a game.

Jaromir Jagr

Czech hockey player

Hockey Sports Joking about doing an impression of player Matthew Barnaby

I had to pinch myself seeing the grassy knoll and the book suppository building.

Trevor Linden

Canadian hockey player

Hockey Misspokements Sports Depository On viewing the site of John F. Kennedy's assassination in Dallas

How would you like it in your job if every time you made a small mistake, a red light went on over your desk and 15,000 people stood up and yelled at you?

Jacques Plante

professional hockey goalie

Hockey Sports

He's the second-best goalie on the ice.

Alain Vigneault

Canadian hockey coach

Hockey Sports On his goaltender ‘s 7-4 playoff loss

Get used to this phrase: “How could both referees have missed that?”

Mike Brophy

Canadian sports writer & analyst

Hockey Sports On the new 2-referee experiment in 1998

I only have one goal in each stick.

Petr Klima

Czech ice hockey player

Hockey Sports Explaining why he broke his sticks after scoring

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Subject: Sports » Hockey (Page 9)

Why is a puck called a puck? Because ‘dirty little bastard’ was taken.

By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series

Was Wayne Gretzky sick?

A goal, an assist and a fight.

There are rough players and there are dirty players. I'm rough and dirty.

If everything were going good for him, he'd be having success.

Anytime you hold Dallas to a one touchdown, it's not all bad.

I didn't hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears.

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good.

I was three-quarters down the list of guys I would be facing in my first game when I realized I was looking at our own roster.

Sean Avery’s got more tongue than a lumberjack’s boot.

He shortened my career having to chase him around the ice all the time.

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

He just got me in the right spot. In the small of the back. A good, clean, dirty hit… not that I didn't deserve it.

He’s easy to do. Sit on the bench. Play about 10 minutes a game.

I had to pinch myself seeing the grassy knoll and the book suppository building.

How would you like it in your job if every time you made a small mistake, a red light went on over your desk and 15,000 people stood up and yelled at you?

He's the second-best goalie on the ice.

Get used to this phrase: “How could both referees have missed that?”

I only have one goal in each stick.