Subject: Sports (Page 102)

The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other four-letter words were used up.

Golf Sports

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions Sports

To finish first, you must first finish.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

 You mean in the state?

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Sports Time

Charles joined my family for a day at the beach and my children asked if they could go into the ocean; I had to tell them “Not right now kids, Charles is using it.”

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Baseball Sports Time

Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. 

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Hockey Sports

And now, coming into the game is the five-ton junior from Canton, Ohio.

Misspokements Sports

Bob Gibson was so mean he would knock you down and then meet you at home plate to see if you wanted to make something of it.

(1942 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

He can be as good as he wants to be, that's how good he can be.

English football player & announcer
Misspokements Sports

Sure, as long as he ties a 56 lb. weight to each leg.

English boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Basketball has so much showboating you'd think it was invented by Jerome Kern.

American sportswriter
Basketball Sports

Owww… it caught ‘em right in the pants area.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey Misspokements Sports

Baseball players are smarter than [American] football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the pitch?

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Football Sports

The smaller the ball used in a sport, the better the book.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Sports

You're damn right I know where I am! I'm in Madison Square Garden getting the sh*t kicked out of me.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

Oh God, if there be cricket in heaven, let there also be rain.


Sports

The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.

Scottish football player
Misspokements Sports

Coaches who start listening to fans wind up sitting next to them.

professional basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports