Subject: Sports (Page 104)

We get carried away with coaches and coaching. I have my coaching badges, but they came out of a Cornflakes packet at the time.

English football player & manager
Sports

I miss the things like the camaraderie in the gym; I don’t miss being smacked in the mouth every day.

Irish professional boxer
Boxing Sports

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Appearance Golf Sports

I want to be the fastest woman in the world… in a manner of speaking.

American woman drag racer
Auto racing Sports Women

The side has been held together by needles and sticking plaster.

Rugby coach
Sports

Golf is just a game – and an idiotic game most of the time.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now.

motor racing commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

I asked my doctor how many more years I have left and he said, 'You're too ornery to die.'

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Death Sports

The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Clothing Football Sports

That’s the fourth extra base hit for the Padres – two doubles and a triple.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

This is good because up until now, the only channel to find 24-hour coverage of the NFL players was Court TV.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Entertainment Football Television

All hockey players are bilingual; they know English and profanity.

(1928 – ) Canadian professional ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

There'll be two buses leaving the hotel for the park tomorrow. The two o'clock bus will be for those of you who need a little extra work. The empty bus will leave at five o'clock.

professional baseball manager
Sports

All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

You can say something to popes, kings and presidents, but you can't talk to officials. In the next war they ought to give everyone a whistle.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Just give every coach the same amount of money and tell them they can keep what’s left over.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Money Sports

Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Sports

Football is a fertility festival: eleven sperm trying to get into the egg; I feel sorry for the goalkeeper.

(1965 – ) Icelandic singer-songwriter
Football Sports

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Golf Sports

All quitters are good losers.

German-American football coach
Football Sports