Subject: Sports (Page 104)

The Republic-of-China – back in the Olympic Games for the first time.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Situations Sports

I'm sorry, sir, I'm not permitted to gamble.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Football Sports

He is accelerating all the time; the last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before that in 62.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports Time

George 'Babe' Ruth and Old Jack Dempsey, both Sultans of Swat.
One hits where the other people are, the other where they're not.

Scottish snooker player
Baseball Boxing Sports

I love boxing. Where else do two grown men prance around in satin underwear, fighting over a belt? … the one who wins gets a purse… they do it in gloves. It's the accessory connection I love.

American comedian
Boxing Sports

There are certain things about my game I don't want to change, but I think it's about time that I realized I can't fight every battle. Three hundred minutes in penalties is way too many. Way too many.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

They're why the Hubble telescope is pointed away from the earth.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

All hockey players are bilingual; they know English and profanity.

(1928 – ) Canadian professional ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

What do you have when you've got an agent buried up to his neck in sand? … Not enough sand.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

You've got to come in with more than a left hook and a bad haircut to beat Lennox Lewis.

British and Canadian boxing champion
Boxing Sports

If you’re mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It’s about the same.

professional football player
Football Sports

You used to think if the score was 5-0, he'd hit a five-run home run.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

I don’t care for sex; I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise; I prefer sports, where you can win.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Sex Sports

For his salad, you just pour vinegar and oil on your lawn and let him graze.

American football player
Football Sports

I don't think he's got much of a future here, because I plan on going to all the games.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

It is now possible they can get the impossible score they first thought possible.

British cricket journalist
Misspokements Sports

Golfing: The art of using a flawed stance, a faulty grip, and an ugly swing to hit a small ball badly toward the wrong hole.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Sports

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Sports Time

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Old Science/Weather Sports

The reason women don’t play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Clothing Football Sports