Subject: Sports (Page 104)

He's great to the old guys. He's got one trainer just to treat varicose veins.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor

Owner of the A's, Charlie Finley: I noticed when you went out to the mound, you had grass stains on the seat of your pants. That's not a good example to set for your players.

Bauer calmly replied: Those weren't grass stains, Charlie… that was mistletoe.

(1922 – 2007) American baseball player & manager

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.

(1953 – ) American baseball player

Overwhelming underdogs.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

For the Washington Senators, the worst time of the year is the baseball season.

(1927 – ) American author & baseball writer

What goes up must come down.  But don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer

I don’t want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we can win.

professional basketball player

They call Ray Robinson the best fighter, pound for pound. I'm the best fighter, ounce for ounce.

1922 – 2006) American boxing champion

No, I don't fight anybody I played against in Juniors. I think everyone I played Juniors with is dead now.

Canadian hockey player & coach

If you see the ball, hit it… that’s what it’s there for.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

One reason I never called balks is that I never understood the rule.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

So what? I can play Smoke on the Water.

American hockey goaltender

I can be found the next couple of months trying to perfect my new punch – the lip-buttoner.

American boxing champion

I didn't hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears.

professional hockey player

George Foreman can knock down an oak tree, but oak trees don't move.

American boxing trainer

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian

An almost inexorable baseball law: A Red Sox ship with a single leak will always find a way to sink; no team is worshipped with such a perverse sense of fatality.

American sportswriter

I've got a tip on the market for you fellows, buy Pennsylvania Railroad – because by tomorrow night about a dozen of you bums will be riding on it.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

If we hadn’t given them those first four touchdowns, it might have been different.

American football coach

I told one player, 'Son, I can't understand it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'

American basketball coach & executive

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is – don't.

American professional golfer