Subject: Sports (Page 105)

Our goal is to score 27 points. If we can get two touchdowns and three field goals, we’ve got our 27 points.

(1937 – ) American football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

You can throw anything in our house, but we’ll just let it roll off our backs

Activities Hockey Misspokements Sports

He (Gil Hodges) fields better on one leg than anybody else I got on two.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

And now Jacques Laffitte is as close to Surer as Surer is to Laffitte.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

When you hear someone shout "You da man" – if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man. 

newspaper sports columnist
Golf Sports

 I want a school my football team can be proud of.

(1905 – 1998) botanist, author & University of Oklahoma president
Education Football Misspokements School Sports

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?

(1913 – 1970) football coach
Football Sports

When I told my wife UConn would win the Big East tournament, she wanted to know why a team from Alaska got into the Big East tournament.

American sportswriter
Basketball Sports

Anyone who weighs over 200 pounds can punch; I don't care if it's a broad.

American boxing trainer
Boxing Sports

A slump starts in your head and winds up in your stomach.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit.

(1954 – ) American actress & comedian
Baseball Situations Sports

He scored hockey by the number of fights. If you lost seven to one, but won five fights, he figured you won the game.

Canadian businessman, sportsman & owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

It will now have to be called the Calcutta Shield.

Sports

Baseball's a very simple game. All you have to do is sit on your butt, spit tobacco, and nod at the stupid things your manager says.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

Ever since he’s been a little boo-aw.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg… but leukemia is worse still.

English former football player & manager
Health Misspokements Sports

I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Where I play, the greens always break toward the bar.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Haven't they suffered enough?

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Baseball Sports

I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars; that bothered my dad at the time because he didn’t have that kind of dough… but he eventually scraped it up.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Money Sports

Tyson fights like you stole something from him or said something nasty about his family.

boxing promoter
Boxing Sports