Subject: Sports (Page 107)

Could he run? Are you kidding? He had more moves than Mayflower Van Lines.

Tennessee football player
Football Sports

There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon… it’s called ‘rhythmic gymnastics’ – unless you’re five, then it’s called ‘playing.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sports

These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

It ain’t over ’til it’s over.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

Gehringer goes two for five on Opening Day and stays that way all season.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

A big factor in the game was the number of points scored.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Misspokements Sports

He had a God-given killer instinct.

professional football owner & coach
Football Sports

One thing you learned as a Cubs fan: when you bought your ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.

Golf Misspokements Sports

No fighter comes into the ring hoping to win – he goes in hoping to win.

English boxing champion
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Even my players aren't players.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Activities Golf Sports

Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

We’re not attempting to circumcise the rules.

football coach
Football Malaprops Sports

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Baseball Murphy’s Laws Sports

The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon.

(1803 – 1857) English writer
Sports

Auto racing began five minutes after the second car was built.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Auto racing Sports

Some drivers grow the fruit. Others just come in and pick it.

British auto racer
Auto racing Sports

He can run, but he can't hide.

(1914 – 1981) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

James 'Cool Papa' Bell was so fast, one time he hit a line drive right back past my ear. I turned round and saw the ball hit his ass sliding into second.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem – slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Golf Sports