Subject: Sports (Page 107)

Muhammad Ali is Muhammad Ali and compared to him all other men are earthlings.

American boxing trainer
Boxing Sports

There are three things the average man thinks he can do better than everybody else: build a fire, run a motel and manage a baseball team.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Sports

They look like two lobsters trying to mate.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I think the world is run by C students.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach
Basketball Intelligence Sports

I got a big charge out of seeing Ted Williams hit. Once in a while they let me try to field some of them, which sort of dimmed my enthusiasm.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Sports

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

(1932 – 1997) newspaper columnist
America Baseball Places Sports

Golf is not a game, it’s bondage; it was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.

Golf Sports

Golf isn’t a game, it’s a choice that one makes with one’s life.

screenwriter & producer
Golf Sports

I spent $3 million on drink and $3 million on gambling, but I wasted the rest.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

I went through a stage of feeling awful to one of feeling terrible. Once I started to feel terrible I was OK.

English distance runner
Sports

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

Football coaches walk across the field after the game and pretend to congratulate the opposing coach; baseball managers head right for the beer.

American sportswriter
Baseball Football Sports

Frankly, that’s tantamount to the head of the White Star line saying the company’s next voyage will be considered a success if it fares better than the Titanic.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

… another dropped out when diarrhea slowed him to the point of elimination.

Cycling commentator
Misspokements Sports

It’s hard to play a guy who rattles his medals while you’re putting.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

Actually we’re trying to get it to flood both locker rooms, just to be fair.

Nassau Coliseum general manager
Hockey Sports

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
England People Places Sports Time

Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Sports

There’ll be a man on the moon before he (Gaylord Perry) hits a home run.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports