Subject: Sports (Page 107)

They’ve picked their heads up off the ground and they now have a lot to carry on their shoulders.

English former football player & manager
Misspokements Sports

One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident… herpes.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Health Sports

And he’s done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

It’s Steffi’s [Graf] forehand off both sides.

(1954 – ) American professional tennis player
Sports

Coaches who start listening to fans wind up sitting next to them.

professional basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

She's slower than trying to bake a pie with a lighter.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Sports

Tell you what, you keep the salary and I'll keep me the cut.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys, there’s no better feeling than to have that done.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Some people say I play erratic golf. What they mean is I frequently play lousy.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I backed a horse today at 20:1; it came in at twenty past four.

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Activities Sports

My sport is about 90 percent strength and 40 per cent technique.

Wrist-wrestling champion
Misspokements Sports

He is the best left fielder the Cardinals have, the best center fielder they have, the best first baseman they have. He is, in short, the best ball club in St. Louis and one of the best in the world.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

Hold when you're at home and don't hold when you're on the road.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel’s suitcase.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix in 200 Meters

Headlines Sports

It'll take three good ones to be on in two today, Sir.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Activities Elections/Voting Government Places Sports

Come on Sandy, baby, loosen up, you’re too tight.

American football player
Football Sports

A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
People Sports

I won’t know until my barber tells me on Monday.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Football Sports