Subject: Sports (Page 108)

Golf, especially championship golf, isn't supposed to be fun, was never meant to be fair, and never will make any sense.

author
Golf Sports

I was hoping I could still be an underwear model after my career is over.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

(1932 – 1997) newspaper columnist
America Baseball Places Sports

Football isn’t a contact sport, it’s a collision sport; dancing is a contact sport.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Dance Football Sports

And there’s the man in the green flag!

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

I know their mother… she'd give them all my plays.

college football coach
Family Football Sports

 He can be a great player in this league for a long time if he learns to say two words: I'm full.

professional football & TV commentator
Football Sports

He slides into second with a stand up double.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Things were so bad in Chicago last summer, that by the fifth inning the White Sox were selling hot dogs to go.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

He (Satchel Paige) threw the ball as far from the bat and as close to the plate as possible.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

 If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can’t get you off.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports

Sandy: I want you to kill every gopher on the course!

Carl: Check me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Golf Sports TV/Movie Quotes

He can run, but he can't hide.

(1914 – 1981) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Canada Hockey Places Science/Weather Sports

I usually call the new guy and let him know where I like to sit on the bus, tell him ways he can stay out of my way, make sure he knows not to touch any of my stuff.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive
Hockey Situations Sports

I spent twelve years training for a career that was over in a week; Joe Namath spent one week training for a career that lasted twelve years.

(1949 – ) American Olympic athlete
Activities People Situations Sports

Ronald Reagan has held the two most demeaning jobs in the country; President of the United States and radio broadcaster for the Chicago Cubs.

(1941 – ) columnist, commentator & editor
Baseball President

Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver; the sand wedge is far more effective.

Golf Sports

The only thing I've noticed is that when I come into the locker room, they all bow.

(1956 – ) Czech American tennis player
Sports

I found a delivery in my flaw.

(1953 – 1998) baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

It’s a humbling thing being humble.

Ohio State football player
Misspokements Sports