Subject: Sports (Page 11)

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint… after 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Golf Sports

He couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the C and the T.


Football Intelligence Sports

I never got many questions about my managing. I tried to get twenty-five guys who didn't ask questions.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident… herpes.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Health Sports

The Baltimore Colts are a bright young team; it seems as if they have their future ahead of them.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Future Misspokements Sports Things

And here comes Mika Hakkinen, double world champion twice over.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

We’ve broken down the expansion teams and they’ve averaged winning 2.7 games their first year, which to me is rather difficult. I figured out the 2, but the .7 has got me wondering what the hell is going on.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Colin Meads is the kind of player you expect to see emerging from a ruck with the remains of a jockstrap between his teeth.

Papua New Guinean rugby player
Sports

Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Characteristics Yogi-isms

When I broke in, they didn’t have bats – we just grabbed the branch of a tree.

American baseball pitcher
Age Baseball Sports

It just as easily could have gone the other way.

professional baseball player & manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event.

American comedian
Dating Relationships Sports

If I was playing third base and my mother rounded third with the winning run, I’d trip her up.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Family Mothers Sports

Well, I see in the game in Minnesota that Terry Felton has relieved himself on the mound in the second inning.

sportscaster & former professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board.

English sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

I'm probably the only guy who worked for (Casey) Stengel before and after he was a genius.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Ten thousand bucks if ya knock him outta the game. I don't care if ya hit him with a whiskey bottle when he gets off the bus.

American football player
Football Sports

Whore – Amazing Happen NBA

Signs Sports Translations

The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Children Sports

When I asked the baseball writers why they haven't elected me to the Hall of Fame, they told me they thought I was still playing.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports