Subject: Sports (Page 110)

I think Jessel’s philosophy about golf was something like: If all you’re going to do is chase the ball, why hit it in the first place?

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Golf Sports

I don’t know… I’ve never smoked it.

(1943 – ) American football player
Activities Sports

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

I thought I would have a quiet pint … and about 17 noisy ones.

British rugby player
Beer Food/Drink Sports

Say Satch, tell me, was Abraham Lincoln a crouch hitter?

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

Managing is getting paid for home runs someone else hits.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Let’s stop the startwatch.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Misspokements Sports

Tom Landry is such a perfectionist that if he were married to Dolly Parton, he’d ask her to cook.

American football player
Football Sports

An almost inexorable baseball law: A Red Sox ship with a single leak will always find a way to sink; no team is worshipped with such a perverse sense of fatality.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

All last year we tried to teach him (Fernando Valenzuela) English, and the only word he learned was million.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

I think they bring me luck… I guess I'll have to like seafood now.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

For the Leafs, there are two kinds of games: those they lose because of the officiating and those they win despite the officiating.

Ottawa Mayor
Hockey Sports

In baseball, you don’t know nothing.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

All I've got against golf is it takes you so far from the clubhouse.

Welsh-born Scottish writer
Golf Sports

The playoffs separate the men from the boys, and we found out we have a lot of boys in our dressing room.

Canadian hockey general manager
Hockey Sports

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

golf writer
Golf Sports

In the Moscow Olympics Lasse Viren came in fifth and ran a champion’s race.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

If I needed advice from my caddie, he'd be hitting the shots and I'd be carrying the bag.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I spent $3 million on drink and $3 million on gambling, but I wasted the rest.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf is not just a good walk ruined, it’s also the act of hitting things violently with a stick ruined.

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Golf Sports

He has everything a boxer needs except speed, stamina, a punch, and ability to take punishment. In other words, he owns a pair of shorts.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Boxing Sports