Subject: Sports (Page 111)

I'm a realist. You don't enter a Volkswagen at Indy unless you know a helluva shortcut.

Boxing Sports

If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable – but not as miserable.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Golf Sports

Hockey is a game played by six good players and a home team.

Hockey Murphy’s Laws Sports

I'd have been more active in there, if only I'd been a little more sober.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

I was once knocked out by a Mexican bantamweight – six of my pals were swinging him around by his heels at the time.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

I ruined my hands in the ring… the referee kept stepping on them.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Football Sports

My head looks like ET gone wrong.

English boxer
Boxing Sports

We work in the toy department.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Communication Reading/Writing Sports

If I play badly I’ll pick a fight in the third, just to get into a fight. I’ll break a guy’s leg to win, I don’t care. Afterward I say, ‘Yeah, all right I played badly, but I won the fight so who gives a damn.'

Canadian hockey player
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

I love my dad… he used to be a professional wrestler in Mexico, so, it was cool growing up with him ’cause when he hit us, he didn’t really hit us.

(1976 – ) comedian
Family Fathers Sports

I can play anywhere; First, Third, Left field… anywhere but Philadelphia.

(1942 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Places Sports

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

If I needed advice from my caddie, he'd be hitting the shots and I'd be carrying the bag.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom’s apple pie.

(1926 – 1991) American television journalist
Baseball Science/Weather Sports

Personally, I’ve always looks upon cricket as organized loafing.

(1881–1944) Archbishop of Canterbury
Sports

I can be found the next couple of months trying to perfect my new punch – the lip-buttoner.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

If the roof fell in and Diz was sitting in the middle of the room, everybody else would be buried and a gumdrop would fall in his mouth.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

If you believe that [Anna Kournikova's claim that she is a virgin], I've never questioned a call in my life.

American professional tennis player
Sex Sports

I guess I’d better send my fingers to Cooperstown.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

Definitions Sports