Subject: Sports (Page 112)

I'm in favor of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

He can run, but he can't hide.

(1914 – 1981) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

And the first five places are filled by five different cars.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
America Places Sports

Until you play it, St. Andrews looks like the sort of real estate you couldn't give away.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Nobody but you and your caddie care what you do out there, and if your caddie is betting against you, he doesn't care, either.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

You have to treat death like any other part of life.

American auto racer
Auto racing Death Sports

I’ll always be Number 1 to myself.

professional basketball player
Misspokements Sports

It’s not Terry Holmes that Bradford needs – it’s Sherlock.

Rugby coach
Sports

His left wrist is so strong that he’d knock his own teeth out if he didn’t brush them right-handed.

American journalist & tennis broadcaster
Sports

The shoulder surgery was a success; the lobotomy failed.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Misspokements Sports

When I get done with 'Sweet Pea,' he'll be 'Split Pea.'

American boxer
Boxing Sports

The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem.

Boston Bruins general manager
Hockey Sports

(After playing an exhibition game in Canada, Logan was surprised to learn that even the kids speak French.)

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

Senna’s car is absolutely unique, apart from the one following, which is identical.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Auto racing Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

I’m a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy… so is my wife.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

His legs turned to spaghetti and I was all over him like the sauce.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.

professional basketball player
Age Body Intelligence Misspokements Sports

The trial began in Lake Charles, Louisiana of a jockey accused of hiding his horse in dense fog to win a race at Evangeline Downs.

Sports

Give me a man with big hands and big feet and no brains and I'll make a golfer out of him.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports