Subject: Sports (Page 112)

Basketball players get the girls, hockey players take them home.

Hockey Sports

The good chip allows you to whistle while you walk in the dark alleys of golf.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

A tough day at the office is even tougher when your office contains spectator seating.

Basketball Sports

He (Julio Cesar Chavez) speaks English, Spanish, and he’s bilingual, too.

(1931 – ) American boxing promoter
Misspokements Sports

They throw Winfield out at second, but he’s safe.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

It was further than I thought.

Equatorial Guinea swimmer
Sports

Some people say I play erratic golf. What they mean is I frequently play lousy.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Then there was that dark horse with the golden arm, Mudassar Nazar.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

We lost some mighty good boys from last year because of paroles, but, crime being what it is, we've picked up some good ones since then, too.

basketball coach
Basketball Sports

It ain’t over ’til it’s over.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

It was close for Zaheer, Lawson threw his hands in the air and Marsh threw his head in the air.

cricket commentator
Misspokements Sports

When the camera focuses on a male athlete he will spit, pick or scratch.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

Only if it's held in a phone booth.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

Football doesn’t build character; it eliminates the weak ones.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Characteristics Football Sports

I just told him to drop the &%^# puck. I didn’t suggest his mother had swum after troop ships or anything.


Sports

Jack Dempsey hits like an epileptic pile-driver.

Boxing Sports

Tom Landry is such a perfectionist that if he were married to Dolly Parton, he’d ask her to cook.

American football player
Football Sports

I think they have to take this bunch down to the slaughterhouse to get weighed.

American football coach
Appearance Football Sports

Golf is not a game, it’s bondage; it was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.

Golf Sports

It's like someone jammed an electric light bulb in your face, and busted it. I thought half my head was blowed off… When he knocked me down I could have stayed there for three weeks.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

An almost inexorable baseball law: A Red Sox ship with a single leak will always find a way to sink; no team is worshipped with such a perverse sense of fatality.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports