Subject: Sports (Page 112)

Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis’s misses every chance he gets.

professional snooker player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Entertainment Misspokements Sports Television

You can't expect Mr. Ed to keep up with Secretariat.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

A silver medal gets you as many free beers as a gold medal does.

Australian Olympic shooter
Sports

If a contest had 97 prizes, the 98th would be a trip to Green Bay.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

It must be the body. It’s chiseled out of marshmallows.

American hockey player
Hockey Sports

The only thing you should force in a golf swing is the club back in the bag.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I play football. I’m not trying to be a professor. The tests don’t seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven’t been through in school.

Football Misspokements Sports

Bob Gibson was so mean he would knock you down and then meet you at home plate to see if you wanted to make something of it.

(1942 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

The way he’s swinging the bat, he won’t get a hit until the 20th century.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Tell me where you want to go. If they have a team, I'll schedule them.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

A tough day at the office is even tougher when your office contains spectator seating.

Basketball Sports

Glenn McGrath joins Craig McDermott and Paul Reiffel in a three-ponged prace attack.


Sports

In golf, I'm one under; one under a tree, one under a rock, and one under a bush…

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Golf Sports

Why is a puck called a puck? Because ‘dirty little bastard’ was taken.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Dating Relationships Sports

Whoever came up with ice fishing must have had the worst marriage on the planet.

(1953 – ) American comedian & writer
Marriage Sports

All I had to do is keep turning left!

auto racer
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

If you can walk with your head in the clouds and keep your feet on the ground, you can make a million dollars in the NBA

Canadian hockey player
Basketball Sports

The luge is the only Olympic event where you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would look exactly the same.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Sports

You know, just once I’d like to hear a player say, ‘Yeah, we were in the game – until Jesus made me fumble; he hates our team.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Sports