Subject: Sports (Page 112)

I think my favorite sport in the Olympics is the one in which you make your way through the snow, you stop, you shoot a gun, and then you continue on. In most of the world, it is known as the biathlon, except in New York City, where it is known as ‘winter.’

American writer
Sports

I’ll be sad to go, and I wouldn’t be sad to go; it wouldn’t upset me to leave St. Louis, but it would upset me to leave St. Louis; it’s hard to explain. You’ll find out one of these days, but maybe you never will.

Canadian-born American hockey player
Misspokements Sports

On his 916th game as coach at University of Alabama – I've been here so long that when I got here the Dead Sea wasn't even sick.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports Time

I didn't hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

If I ever need a heart transplant, I want his [Bobby Knight’s]… it’s never been used.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian
Golf Sports

Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Passin’ Earnhardt is like trying to take a bone out of a Pit Bull’s mouth.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

If God wanted football played in the spring, he would not have invented baseball.

football coach
Football Sports

In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.

American baseball umpire
Baseball People Sports Women

Some people think football is a matter of life and death… I can assure them it is much more serious than that.

Scottish football player & manager
Sports

I came from a dirt farm, now I'm filthy rich.

American boxing champion
Boxing Money Sports

It was fun until a kid came up to me and said, “My dad says you're getting old, you're going to die, and your autograph will be valuable.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I can only see it going one way, that’s my way. How it’s actually going to go I can't really say.

English boxer
Boxing Misspokements Sports

I didn’t hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

We hate each other. People assume that we respect each other because we’re black. We don’t.

Canadian hockey player & commentator
Hockey Sports

Frank, you deserve a knighthood, or maybe even Lord of the Rings.

Irish television & radio presenter
Boxing Misspokements Sports

The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board.

English sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

The bus leaves in an hour – anyone who needs a shower, take one.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

If I'm having brain surgery, I'll be darned if I want that surgeon playing for a tie.

American college football coach
Football Sports

I'd trade Larry Murphy for a shaved monkey who could skate and a bucket of pucks.

Hockey Sports