Subject: Sports (Page 112)

The score a player reports on any hole should always be regarded as his opening offer.

Anglo-Irish golfer
Golf Sports

Gentlemen, start your coffins.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Auto racing Sports

Maybe that will distract the Falcon quarterback.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Why does everybody stand up and sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when they’re already there?

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

What makes him unusual is that he thinks he's normal and everyone else is nuts.

American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

If I fought Evander [Holyfield] with a baseball bat, I would win the fight… but it would be by decision.

Boxing Sports

When we’re competing for the Stanley Cup, this record won’t mean a thing.

professional hockey player
Misspokements Sports

Once a pitcher loses his fastball, he has to go to the garbage.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I’ve had to overcome a lot of diversity.

professional basketball player
Malaprops Sports

If the roof fell in and Diz was sitting in the middle of the room, everybody else would be buried and a gumdrop would fall in his mouth.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

There is someone warming up in the Giants’ bullpen, but he’s obscured by his number.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

(We) should be allowed to wear shorts; God almighty, (LPGA) women are allowed to wear ‘em, and we’ve got better legs than they do.

professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

Gretzky knows it time to retire now — he's finally slow enough to get hit by Luke Richardson.

American sportswriter
Hockey Sports

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

hockey announcer
Hockey Sports Time

There are two reasons for making a hole in one; the first is that it is immensely labor-saving.

Golf Sports

Playing middle linebacker is like walking through a lion's cage in a three-piece porkchop suit.

professional football player
Football Sports

Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter, I’m amphibious.

professional basketball player
Malaprops Sports

If it weren’t for baseball, many kids wouldn’t know what a millionaire looked like.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Baseball Children Money Sports Wealth

The final score after eight innings is Giants 3, Padres 2.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports