Subject: Sports (Page 113)

Optimistically, you hope someday you’ll be in a magazine. Of course, your mom hopes it’s Sports Illustrated or something like that.

American hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

A big factor in the game was the number of points scored.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Misspokements Sports

Vicodin and vodka — the breakfast of champions.

(1918 – 1990) football coach
Football Sports

I was offered a spot in an ad for neutering pets… not exactly what I had in mind.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

I don't want to get into a 'He said, she said' with the refs… I'm the 'he.'

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I'd trade Larry Murphy for a shaved monkey who could skate and a bucket of pucks.

Hockey Sports

I wish you were a statue and I were a pigeon.

Stephen Gascoigne (1878 – 1942) Australian sports fan & heckler
Sports

If ever an error had ‘F’ written on it, that grounder did.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

My punches are just as hard in Chicago as in New York.

American professional boxer
Boxing Sports

I didn't want my Mom to know I was drag racing for 20 years so I told her I was in prison.

American drag racing crew chief & pioneer
Auto racing Sports

The Mets have gotten their leadoff hitter on base only once in this inning.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Nigel Mansell is the only man who goes to Nick Faldo for charisma lessons.

English actor & television personality
Auto racing Insults Sports

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating… the other 20 percent lied.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Activities Golf Sports

He (Julio Cesar Chavez) speaks English, Spanish, and he’s bilingual, too.

(1931 – ) American boxing promoter
Misspokements Sports

I don’t think anywhere is there a symbiotic relationship between caddie and player like there is in golf.

professional golfer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. 


(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Communication Golf Sports

When you're in a slump, it's almost as if you look out at the field and it's one big glove.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

There are two reasons for making a hole in one; the first is that it is immensely labor-saving.

Golf Sports

If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Now it comes to a simple equation – who can stand the heat.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

It took three guys to bring down Baltimore Colts tight end John Mackey and the lucky ones fell off.

(1921 – 2005) American broadcaster
Football Sports