Subject: Sports (Page 114)

I'm all in favor of it.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Men Sports

He has turned defensive boxing into a poetic art; trouble is, nobody ever knocked anybody out with a poem.

Blues saxophonist
Boxing Sports

You don’t realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.

(1931 – 1995) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I’ll always be Number 1 to myself.

professional basketball player
Misspokements Sports

My game is so bad I gotta hire three caddies – one to walk the left rough, one for the right rough, and one down the middle. And the one down the middle doesn't have much to do.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

The advantage of the rain is, that if you have a quick bike, there’s no advantage.

British motorcycle road racer
Misspokements Sports

The sun doesn’t shine on the same dog’s butt every day but we sure didn’t expect a total eclipse.

American football player, coach & college athletics administrator
Misspokements Sports

He said he wanted to go play in his home country and village; I guess every village needs an idiot.

Hockey Sports

To say a good defensive center is more important than a high-scoring forward is like saying that the intestinal tract is more vital than the circulatory system.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

History must repeat itself because we pay such little attention to it the first time.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
History Sports Time

‘Deuce’ is used so you don't have to count so high.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Sports

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Sex Sports

If you’re going to make every game a matter of life or death, you’re going to have a lot of problems… for one thing, you’ll be dead a lot.

(1931 – ) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there’s a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.’

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Fat Sports

There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon… it’s called ‘rhythmic gymnastics’ – unless you’re five, then it’s called ‘playing.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sports

Drive: A shot that comes after the whiff and before the mulligan.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt… the rest can never be mastered.

(1946 – ) British politician
Golf Sports

It'll take three good ones to be on in two today, Sir.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

They probably would; I haven't played in twenty years and we're all old now.

professional basketball player, coach & executive
Basketball Sports

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports