Subject: Sports (Page 114)

Golf is not just a good walk ruined, it’s also the act of hitting things violently with a stick ruined.

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Golf Sports

When you’re walking to the bank with that World Series check every November, you don’t want to leave. There were no Yankees saying, “play me or trade me.”

(1922 – 2007) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports Success

What a town. They boo Willie Mays and cheer Khrushchev.

New York writer
Places Sports

Two people fighting is not violence in hockey. It might be in tennis or bowling, but it's not in hockey.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Fights Hockey Sports

Maggots Tackle Raiders

Headlines Sports

Then there was that dark horse with the golden arm, Mudassar Nazar.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

Standing across the ring from Joe Louis and knowing he wants to go home early.

(1909–1959) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

No big deal. I just watched the game. I had the best seats of anyone in the crowd. It was awesome.

Czech hockey player
Hockey Sports

Place-kickers aren't footballers, they're hired feet.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

By the way Frank Bruno went on about beating Bugner, you'd have thought he had won the Booker prize, not just taken time to out-jab an old man bullocking around pretty harmlessly in the pension queue.

(1944 – ) British sportswriter
Boxing Sports

Driving a race car is like dancing with a chainsaw.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn't be here this week… he is attending the birth of his next wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing; now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

George Halas throws nickels around like man hole covers.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Sports

I don't want to fight no Mexican roadsweepers no more.

British boxer
Boxing Sports

Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

Going into a game against Lew Alcindor [later Kareem Abdul-Jabbar] is like going into a knife fight and finding there's no blade in your handle.

basketball coach
Basketball Sports

A Mexican won the Boston Marathon two years ago; he wasn’t even in the race; he was just running down the street.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Sports

I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.

American basketball player
Misspokements Sports

The goal is too small and the goalies are too big.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports