Sports | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports (Page 114)

The place was so empty, they could have had archery practice.

Bill Parcells

American football coach

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the way to bet.

Runyon's Second Law

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports Betting Speed Strength

George McGinnis has got the body of a Greek god and the running ability of a Greek goddess.

Dick Vitale

American sportscaster

Basketball Sports George McGinnis

The only thing that matters is what happens on the little hump out in the middle of the field.

Earl Weaver

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager

Baseball Sports Pitching

The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!

David Coleman

(1926 – ) English sports commentator

Activities Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. 

Sam Snead

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golf Sports Grip

Tyson fights like you stole something from him or said something nasty about his family.

Mike Acri

boxing promoter

Boxing Sports Mike Tyson

Too much ambition is a bad thing to have in a bunker.

Bobby Jones

American professional golfer

Golf Sports Ambition Bunkers

An hour after the game, you want to go out and play them again.

Rocky Bridges

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach

Baseball Sports On playing against a team from Japan

All quitters are good losers.

Bob Zuppke

German-American football coach

Football Sports Losing Quitters

Probably the best thing that happened to me was going nuts. Nobody knew who I was until that happened.

Jimmy Piersall

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder

Baseball Health Sports Fame

A tap-in is a putt that is short enough to be missed one-handed.

Henry Beard

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)

Golf Sports Putting Tap-in

Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.

Dave Marr

professional golfer

Golf Sports Betting

I don’t like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him.

Murray Mexted

New Zealand rugby player & commentator

Misspokements Sports Rugby

There have been more cheap shots in this game than a Mexican cantina during happy hour.

Rick Jeanneret

Canadian hockey announcer

Hockey Sports

Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.

Stormont Mancroft

British politician

People Sports Time Cricket Eternity Morant was courtmartialed and executed by the British – charged with killing Boer prisoners.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Golf Sports

I can't tell who's leading… it's either Oxford or Cambridge.

John Snagge

British news commentator

Misspokements Sports On the 1998 Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race

That was a tremendous six. The ball was still in the air as it went over the boundary.

Fred Trueman

English cricketer

Misspokements Sports Cricket

They look like two lobsters trying to mate.

David Feherty

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

Golf Sports Describing Tommy Gainey's grip using two gloves

There are three things the average man thinks he can do better than everybody else: build a fire, run a motel and manage a baseball team.