Subject: Sports (Page 116)

Sure the fight was fixed. I fixed it with a right hand.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

(1945 – ) football coach
Books Communication Insults Reading/Writing Sports

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

(1918 – ) American Christian evangelist
Golf Sports

We know we’re better than this, but we can’t prove it.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

To finish first, you must first finish.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

If I knew he was gonna throw a no-hitter, I would have thrown one too.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Why ask me? You've asked me two times already and paid no atention to what I said. So pick your own goddam club!

Golf Sports

Whenever they gave him the game ball, he ate it.

American football player
Football Sports

I don't order fries with my club sandwich.

Canadian hockey player
Body Hockey Sports

The batsman’s is Holding, the bowler’s Willey.

cricket announcer
Misspokements Sports

I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man’s failures.

(1891 – 1974) 14th U.S. Chief Justice & politician
Failure Problems Sports

And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn’t surprising as this is an all Escort race.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

This one'll slide down the hill like a greased piglet.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Definitions Golf Sports

Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis’s misses every chance he gets.

professional snooker player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

The best classroom of all times was about two car lengths behind Juan Manuel Fangio.

(1929 – ) English race car driver
Auto racing Education Learning Sports

There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon… it’s called ‘rhythmic gymnastics’ – unless you’re five, then it’s called ‘playing.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sports

The only time I talk on the golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club.

Spanish professional golfer
Communication Speech Sports

I’d like to borrow [Cassius] Clay’s body for 48 hours. There are three guys I’d like to beat up and four women I’d like to make love to.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

Education Government Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Politics Sports