Subject: Sports (Page 116)

The earth in LA moved more in one hour than Benoit Benjamin did all last season with the Clippers.

American sports columnist & analyst
Basketball Sports

I look at the NBA as a football game without the helmet.

American basketball player & broadcaster
Basketball Sports

There are younger Aztec ruins.

sportswriter & newspaper columnist
Age Baseball Old Sports

The stopwatch has stopped. It's up to God and the referee now. The referee is Pat Horan. God is God.

Irish Gaelic games commentator
God Sports

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital. 

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

A Mexican won the Boston Marathon two years ago; he wasn’t even in the race; he was just running down the street.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Sports

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Play him, fine him, and play him again.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

The rule was "No autopsy, no foul.”

Canadian basketball player
Basketball Sports

Squash – that’s not exercise, it’s flagellation.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Sports

He hit me 18 times while I was in the act of falling.

(1909–1959) American boxing champion
Sports

He doesn’t cook well.

American professional tennis player
Sports

You have to have a catcher because if you don’t you’re likely to have a lot of passed balls.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

There'll be two buses leaving the hotel for the park tomorrow. The two o'clock bus will be for those of you who need a little extra work. The empty bus will leave at five o'clock.

professional baseball manager
Sports

Allen S. Sothoron pitched his initials off yesterday.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

Las Vegas is the oasis of outstretched palms.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Money Places Sports

Speed, strength and the inability to register pain immediately.

American football player
Football Sports

Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.

playwright, performer, musician, screenwriter & humorist
Football Sports

If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen, you will hear an alibi.

Golf Sports

I'd like to see the fairways more narrow; then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me.

Spanish professional golfer
Golf Sports