Subject: Sports (Page 117)

Senna’s car is absolutely unique, apart from the one following, which is identical.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator

Two people fighting is not violence in hockey. It might be in tennis or bowling, but it's not in hockey.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach

George Brett could get good wood on an aspirin.

American baseball manager

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Jack Dempsey hits like an epileptic pile-driver.

Punt returns will kill you quicker than a minnow can swim a dipper.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American basketball coach & executive

One of the worst things that can happen to you in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age.

American billiards champion & hustler

That guy has muscles in places most people don't have places.

American basketball broadcaster

 A good fighting club will beat a club that has superstars on it every time.

Canadian hockey coach & general manager

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist

And there’s the man in the green flag!

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator

Pose nude for Playgirl? … I wouldn't pose nude for Boxing News.

English boxer

All of his saves have come during relief appearances.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president

He [Magic Johnson] comes into the league with all that fancy stuff and they call it magic; I’ve been doing it for years and they call it schoolyard.

professional basketball player

Because this is a title fight, I can have four people in the corner and I'll have an extra cut-man. I'll also have an extra stool, one for Vinnie to sit on, and the other to throw at him if he doesn't listen to me.

(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager

I’ve seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.

(1991 – ) American actor, singer & screenwriter

You either have to finesse 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty, or 11 who weren't smart enough to play offense.

Clemson quarterback

Some guys are inwardly outgoing.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

And Britain defeats the rest of the world to pick up the bronze medal.