Subject: Sports (Page 117)

He is accelerating all the time; the last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before that in 62.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports Time

Reporter: What did you think about the collective bargaining proposal?

Payton: (making $2,700,000 per year): People would have to cut their lifestyle, and they’d live like penny-pinchers.

professional football coach
Misspokements Money Sports

There is no secret to running – run hard, have a beer, have a pizza. We make it too complicated.

New Zealand runner
Sports

God invented football so grown men would have something to do between wars.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Conflict Football Sports War

Call them pros, call them mercenaries – but in fact they are just grown-up kids who have learned on the frozen creek or flooded corner lot that hockey is the greatest thrill of all.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

When I got up I stuck to my plan… stumbling forward and getting hit in the face.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

The first guy who lays a finger on this blind old man is fined fifty bucks!

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

I know being a linesman is a thankless job, especially with guys like me around.

American professional tennis player
Sports

Oral sex should be an Olympic sport because it’s harder than curling, and if you’re good at it, you deserve a medal.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Sex Sports

Nutrition makes me puke.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Food/Drink Sports

Three things are bad for you: I can't remember the first two, but doughnuts are the third.

football coach
Food/Drink Football Health Sports

We haven't had the rub of the dice.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports

That’s the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

They told me Jack Bodell was awkward and he was… he fell awkwardly.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

I have a lifetime contract. That means I can't be fired during the third quarter if we're ahead and moving the ball.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

Place-kickers aren't footballers, they're hired feet.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

The only man I've ever known who could strut sitting down.

(1860 – 1931) American baseball writer & humorist
Baseball Sports

I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats; after all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Yogi-isms

I’m the guy that made Joe DiMaggio famous.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball People Self Sports

Blind people come to the park just to hear him pitch.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports