Subject: Sports (Page 117)

My main objective is to be professional, but to kill him.

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

What’s everyone blaming me for? … Blame Felix; I wouldn’t have hit into the double-plays if he hadn’t hit singles.

American baseball player, manager & executive
Baseball Misspokements Sports

You know you’re getting old when you start watching golf on TV and enjoying it.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Age Entertainment Golf Old Television

I’m trying to be a good guy, and I’m not that good a guy.

American professional tennis player
Sports

The series is already won, but I don’t know by which team.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I think all uniforms look nice if you've got good players in 'em.

American football coach
Football Sports

Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports

The only thing that matters is what happens on the little hump out in the middle of the field.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Hockey’s the only place where a guy can go nowadays and watch two white guys fight.


(1938 – 2017) American sportswriter & novelist
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

I occasionally get birthday cards from fans, but it's often the same message… they hope it's my last.

American baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.

(1939 – ) American actor, dancer, singer, producer & choreographer
Appearance Basketball Body Clothing Sports

One reason that Finland produces such great runners is that back home it costs $2.40 for gas.

Finnish marathon runner
Places Sports

Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Baseball Sports

On this team, we are all united in a common goal: to keep my job.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends.

English sports commentator
Mixed metaphors Sports

There are two types of forwards. Scorers and bangers. Scorers score and bangers bang.

Canadian hockey goaltender, politician, lawyer, businessman & author
Hockey Sports

Golf giveth and golf taketh away, but it taketh away a hell of a lot more than it giveth.

South African professional golfer
Golf Sports

They write more books.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Sports

Did you know that the only Israeli gold medal in the history of the Olympics was in sailing? … further reinforcing the stereotype that Jews don’t tip!

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Sports

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.

Golf Situations Sports

Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports