Subject: Sports (Page 118)

God watches over drunks and third basemen.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

To Dallas Cowboys President Tex Schramm: You're one of the two most efficient organizations in the 20th century.

Schramm: What's the other?

Cook: The Third Reich.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

I've never scored a hat-trick before… not even playing against my sister in the yard at home.

Australian rugby player
Sports

I don't think he's got much of a future here, because I plan on going to all the games.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Yes, the guy can score you 40 goals… what I don't want is him causing 60.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster
Hockey Sports

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.

American sportswriter
Golf Sports

You either have to finesse 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty, or 11 who weren't smart enough to play offense.

Clemson quarterback
Football Sports

If you have everyone back from a team that lost 10 games, experience isn't too important.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf Sports

This is lap 54; after that, it’s 55, 56, 57, 58.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Winning isn’t everything, but it beats anything that comes in second.

1913 – 1983) American college football coach
Sports

He (Gil Hodges) fields better on one leg than anybody else I got on two.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The gap between the two cars is 0.9 of a second, which is less than one second.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports Time

I wouldn’t give him a high fastball or a fast highball.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

I know their mother… she'd give them all my plays.

college football coach
Family Football Sports

The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is neglecting his business. If he's worse, he's neglecting his golf.

Golf Sports

Mansell handles corners better than Maradona.

Auto racing Signs Sports

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

Give blood. Play hockey. 

Hockey Sports