Subject: Sports (Page 118)

I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

Let’s stop the startwatch.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Misspokements Sports

Tell me where you want to go. If they have a team, I'll schedule them.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

I used to play sports, then I realized you can buy trophies.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Sports

Too much ambition is a bad thing to have in a bunker.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I'm concentrating so much I don't know what I'm doing half the time.

British boxer
Misspokements Sports

He was the only man I ever saw who ran his own interference.

professional football player & coach
Football Sports

My game is so bad I gotta hire three caddies – one to walk the left rough, one for the right rough, and one down the middle. And the one down the middle doesn't have much to do.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

If my quarterback runs, I'll shoot him.

American football coach
Football Sports

Play him, fine him, and play him again.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

I didn't quit football because I failed a drug test, I failed a test because I was ready to quit football.

American football player
Activities Drugs Football Sports

Frank, you deserve a knighthood, or maybe even Lord of the Rings.

Irish television & radio presenter
Boxing Misspokements Sports

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Old Science/Weather Sports

Cricket shouldn't be used as a political football.

English cricketer
Misspokements Sports

It's like embalming. Nobody likes it, but somebody has to do it.

American football player
Football Sports

The way he’s swinging the bat, he won’t get a hit until the 20th century.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Because there are no fours.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

To Dallas Cowboys President Tex Schramm: You're one of the two most efficient organizations in the 20th century.

Schramm: What's the other?

Cook: The Third Reich.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports