Subject: Sports (Page 118)

The only time I talk on the golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club.

Spanish professional golfer
Communication Speech Sports

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.

British politician
People Sports Time

In football everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.


(1905 – 1980) French existentialist philosopher, playwright & novelist,
Football Sports

All gong and no dinner… we just wish Anna would finally win something aside from hearts.

Sports

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty for lying to a congressman can be up to 30 years in jail, but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is another two years in office.

(1955 – ) American sportswriter
Beliefs Congress Golf Government Honesty Law Lies

When I was a kid, I wanted to play baseball and join the circus. With the Yankees, I've been able to do both.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

You have to wonder what kind of chemical reactions were taking place inside Walker’s head when he said these things.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Speech Sports

Speaking from memory, I don't know how many points Nelson Piquet has.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

No matter how strong the breeze when you leave the dock, once you have reached the furthest point from port the wind will die.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

I’m not playing favorites… all my favorites have graduated.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

The great thing about golf – and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it – you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Beer Food/Drink Golf Sports

Three things are bad for you: I can't remember the first two, but doughnuts are the third.

football coach
Food/Drink Football Health Sports

We worked 80 hour weeks for 30 years to keep from having to get a real job.

American drag racing crew chief & pioneer
Auto racing Sports

Alan Shepard walking on the moon found a golf ball with Gerald Ford’s initials on it.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Give blood. Play hockey. 

Hockey Sports

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions Sports

The Houston Astros play in a vast indoor stadium known as the Astrodome, but the problem is they field a half-vast team.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports Wordplay

ESPN is like your family, it’s always there: the networks are like your mother-in-law… they are there on the weekends.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Sports Television

Wait until Tommy (Lasorda) meets the Lord and finds out that He's wearing pinstripes.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports