Subject: Sports (Page 119)

(We Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It’s) All Over Now

Sports

Why waltz 10 rounds with an opponent if you can KO him in one?

American boxing champion
Boxing

National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'll bet the hardest thing about prize fighting is picking up your teeth with a boxing glove on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Boxing Sports

Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Malaprops Sports

I think they bring me luck… I guess I'll have to like seafood now.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

The sun has been there for 500, 600 years.

American baseball player
Baseball Science/Weather Sports Time

The three important elements of hockey are: forecheck, backcheck and paycheck.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball People Sports

 When I'm on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital. 

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism conducted out of doors.

Golf Sports

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong – but that’s the way to bet.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

Notre Dame is the only team in the country that never plays a road game.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

Boxing is the only sport you can get your brain shook, your money took and your name in the undertaker book.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Well, there goes our 26-game hitting streak.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

The only good thing about playing for Cleveland is you don't have to make road trips there.

American baseball player
Baseball Places Sports

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Sex Sports

A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors.

(1888 –1961) Irish actor Irish actor
Golf Sports

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

In baseball, you don’t know nothing.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms