Subject: Sports (Page 119)

Being named manager of the Seattle Mariners is like becoming the head chef at MacDonalds.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

Baseball is the belly of society. Straighten out baseball and you'll straighten out the rest of the world.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Places Sports World

Singles hitters drive Fords, home run hitters drive Cadillacs.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Sports

Skiing may be a winter activity, but some think of it as a fall sport.

Sports Wordplay

We didn’t have steroids. If I wanted to get pumped up, I drank a case of beer.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Beer Food/Drink Football Sports

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Baseball Language Music

George Foreman can knock down an oak tree, but oak trees don't move.

American boxing trainer
Boxing Sports

You can shake a dozen glove men out of a tree, but the bat separates the men from the boys.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I was so bad, I couldn’t have driven Miss Daisy home.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

It looks like a one armed man trying to wrestle a snake in a phone booth.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I was three-quarters down the list of guys I would be facing in my first game when I realized I was looking at our own roster.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

If defensive linemen’s IQs were 5 points lower, they’d be geraniums.

American football player
Football Intelligence Sports

The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level.

professional baseball player & executive
Misspokements Sports Success

Raise the urinals.

professional baseball player & announcer
Misspokements Sports

I never make predictions and I never will.

English football player
Misspokements Sports

Having Willie Stargell on your ball club is like having a diamond ring on your finger.

American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

For the Leafs, there are two kinds of games: those they lose because of the officiating and those they win despite the officiating.

Ottawa Mayor
Hockey Sports

Colin Meads is the kind of player you expect to see emerging from a ruck with the remains of a jockstrap between his teeth.

Papua New Guinean rugby player
Sports

Remember: Super Bowl is the biggest day of the year for pizza delivery… so no matter what happens in the game, Peyton Manning wins.

(1974 – ) American comedian & impressionist
Football Sports

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

skier
Misspokements Sports